He had said to Lady Oswald, in answer to her reproach of his not
calling to see her more frequently, that his time when at Hallingham
was much occupied. True, so far: but the chief and real motive which
kept him from her house was a sort of sensitive feeling relating to
her money. It was not that he dreaded people's saying he was looking
after it: he would have scorned that kind of reproach: but he did
dread lest any degree of intimacy, any pushing of himself in her way,
should cause her to leave it to him. I am not sure that you will quite
understand this; understand him or his feeling. None but a man of the
nicest honour, who was entrenched, as it were, in his own pride, the
pride of rectitude, could have felt this delicacy. He did not want
Lady Oswald's money; he knew that he had no claim upon any of it, no
right to it, and he would not put himself in her way more than he
could help, even as a passing visitor. Gossiping Hallingham had said:
"My lady would be leaving her nest-egg to Mr. Oswald Cray." The gossip
had penetrated to Mr. Oswald Cray's ears, and his only notice of it
was a haughty gesture of contempt: but in all probability it tended to
increase his dislike to go to Lady Oswald's. During these business
visits at Hallingham, he sojourned at a respectable inn of the old
school, a little beyond the town and the Abbey Gardens, called the
"Apple Tree," and had recently become more intimate with the family of
Dr. Davenal.
Driven forth all his life from his father's home, allowed to enter it
but at rare intervals, and then as a formally-invited guest, it cannot
be supposed that Oswald Cray entertained any strong affection for his
half-brother and sisters. Such a state of things would have been
unnatural, quite in opposition to ordinary probabilities. It would be
wrong to say that they disliked each other; but there was certainly no
love: civil indifference may best express the feeling. Marcus, the
eldest child of the second Mrs. Cray, was from three to four years
younger than Oswald. It had been better that Mrs. Cray had fostered an
affection between these boys, but she did just the reverse. She
resented the contempt cast on her husband by the Oswalds of Thorndyke;
she resented, most unreasonably, the fact that the little money of the
first Mrs. Cray should have descended at once to Oswald; she even
resented the child's having taken the distinguishing name: he was
Oswald Cray, her son, plain Cray. How worse than foolish this was of
her, how wrong, perhaps the woman might yet learn: but altogether it
did excite her against Oswald; and she had kept him aloof from her own
children, and encouraged those children to be jealous of him. When the
boys became men, they met often, and were cordial enough with each
other; but there was no feeling of brotherhood, there never could be
any.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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