Even in early childhood, I had selected a sweet spot, of shade and
glimmering sunshine, for my grave. It was no burial-ground, but a
secluded nook of virgin earth, where I used to sit, whole summer
afternoons, dreaming about life and death. My fancy ripened
prematurely, and taught me secrets which I could not otherwise have
known. I pictured the coming years,--they never came to me, indeed; but
I pictured them like life, and made this spot the scene of all that
should be brightest, in youth, manhood, and old age. There, in a little
while, it would be time for me to breathe the bashful and burning vows
of first-love; thither, after gathering fame abroad, I would return to
enjoy the loud plaudit of the world, a vast but unobtrusive sound, like
the booming of a distant sea; and thither, at the far-off close of life,
an aged man would come, to dream, as the boy was dreaming, and be as
happy in the past as lie was in futurity. Finally, when all should be
finished, in that spot so hallowed, in that soil so impregnated with the
most precious of my bliss, there was to be my grave. Methought it would
be the sweetest grave that ever a mortal frame reposed in, or an
ethereal spirit haunted. There, too, in future times, drawn thither by
the spell which I had breathed around the place, boyhood would sport and
dream, and youth would love, and manhood would enjoy, and age would
dream again, and my ghost would watch but never frighten them. Alas,
the vanity of mortal projects, even when they centre in the grave! I
died in my first youth, before I had been a lover; at a distance, also,
from the grave which fancy had dug for me; and they buried me in the
thronged cemetery of a town, where my marble slab stands unnoticed amid
a hundred others. And there are coffins on each side of mine!
“Alas, poor ghost!” will the reader say. Yet I am a happy ghost enough,
and disposed to be contented with my grave, if the sexton will but let
it be my own, and bring no other dead man to dispute my title. Earth
has left few stains upon me, and it will be but a short time that I need
haunt the place. It is good to die in early youth. Had I lived out
threescore years and ten, or half of them, my spirit would have been so
earth-incrusted, that centuries might not have purified it for a better
home than the dark precincts of the grave. Meantime, there is good
choice of company amongst us. From twilight till near sunrise, we are
gliding to and fro, some in the graveyard, others miles away; and would
we speak with any friend, we do but knock against his tombstone, and
pronounce the name engraved on it: in an instant, there the shadow
stands!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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