Americans -- England -- Drama; Aristocracy (Social class) -- England -- Drama; Comedy plays
Flo No; have you?
Sir E Come, ladies and gentlemen, take from me. [Takes glasses, Starts
on seeing me in livery.] Who are these strange faces?
Coyle [In his ear.] Bailiffs, Sir Edward.
Sir E Bailiffs! Florence I am lost.
[Florence supports her father. At the same moment Dundreary enters with
letter and money. Georgina appears at dairy door as Dundreary comes
down, L. Asa cuts string of bottle, cork hits Dundreary. General
commotion as drop descends.]
ACT III.
Scene 1--Dairy set as before in Act 2d, Scene 2.
[Asa discovered on bench, R. C., whittling stick. Mary busy with milk
pans in dairy.]
Asa Miss Mary, I wish you'd leave off those everlasting dairy fixings,
and come and take a hand of chat along with me.
Mary What, and leave my work? Why, when you first came here, you thought
I could not be too industrious.
Asa Well, I think so yet, Miss Mary, but I've got a heap to say to you,
and I never can talk while you're moving about so spry among them pans,
pails and cheeses. First you raise one hand and then the other, and
well, it takes the gumption right out of me.
Mary [Brings sewing down.] Well, then, I'll sit here--[sits on bench
with Asa, vis-a-vis.] Well now, will that do?
Asa Well, no, Miss Mary, that won't do, neither; them eyes of yourn
takes my breath away.
Mary What will I do, then?
Asa Well, I don't know, Miss Mary, but, darn me, if you could do
anything that wasn't so tarnal neat and handsome, that a fellow would
want to keep on doing nothing else all the time.
Mary Well, then, I'll go away. [Rises.]
Asa [Stopping her.] No, don't do that, Miss Mary, for then I'll be left
in total darkness. [She sits.] Somehow I feel kinder lost, if I haven't
got you to talk to. Now that I've got the latitude and longitude of all
them big folks, found out the length of every lady's foot, and the
soft spot on everybody's head, they can't teach me nothing; but here,
[Whittling.] here I come to school.
Mary Then throw away that stick, and put away your knife, like a good
boy. [Throws away stick up stage.] I must cure you of that dreadful
trick of whittling.
Asa Oh, if you only knew how it helps me to keep my eyes off you, Miss
Mary.
Mary But you needn't keep your eyes off me.
Asa I'm afraid I must, my eyes are awful tale-tellers, and they might be
saying something you wouldn't like to hear, and that might make you mad,
and then you'd shut up school, and send me home feeling about as small
as a tadpole with his tail bobbed off.
Mary Don't be alarmed, I don't think I will listen to any tales that
your eyes may tell unless they're tales I like and ought to hear.
Asa If I thought they'd tell any other, Miss Mary, I pluck them right
out and throw them in the first turnip patch I came to.
Mary And now tell me more about your home in America. Do you know I've
listened to your stories until I'm half a backwoodsman's wife already?
Asa [Aside.] Wouldn't I like to make her a whole one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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