The expenses of the officer's dress should be reduced whenever possible. Abolish ten shillings worth of lace, and substitute three buttons at three-and-sixpence apiece. There is only a slight difference, but every little helps. [Illustration] Rifles should be cleaned very carefully: one man should hold the rifle, and the other should manipulate the "pull-through." [Illustration] The difference between field service kit and parade dress is very marked. You wear out the one and grow out of the other. [Illustration: Off Duty. That enthusiastic Volunteer, Jack Rackett, holds that, while in camp, you should consider yourself a soldier for the time being; but, he says, Tommy has a "deuced good time, don't you know!"] [Illustration: Trouble in the Band. _Bugler:_ "'Ere, if you go on increasin' at this rate, Fatty, you'll 'ave to send in your resignation. You won't be able to reach the middle o' the drum soon!"] You may be traffic manager of a railway, but you cannot know as much about a baggage train as a Second Lieutenant in the Army Service Corps who has been at it for a week. * * * * * Now this is the creed of the Subaltern.-- The Subaltern knows everything and does everything. The Captain knows (?) everything and does nothing. The Major knows nothing and does nothing. * * * * * [Illustration] There is such a thing as too much enthusiasm, and when, after joining the Signalling section, Edwin's fond epistles took the above form, Angelina decided that it was time to break off the engagement. * * * * * If you want to know anything always ask the Adjutant; recollect that he has nothing to do but to attend to _you_. * * * * * No water-cart is perfect. You may abuse it without incurring rebuke. * * * * * When in doubt say you have received no instructions. * * * * * Many rules apply equally well in civil and military life. If you are in a responsible position, never do anything till you are absolutely pushed. Presenting arms never killed the enemy, neither has physical drill, but each helps to make a soldier. * * * * * It is curious how an indifferent shot always gets a badly sighted rifle issued to him. * * * * * "Intelligence in the obeyin' of commands," said "Tiny," "is of the utmost importance. If you are with an off'cer as knows 'is work you may close yer eyes and rest in peace, an' just do as you're told without worryin'. But they differ. There's that little devil with the eyeglass now, if 'e's takin' you an' you see me convenient to 'is elbow you can be easy in your minds an' jump to the word, but if, by misfortune, 'e's out there alone, keep yer wits about yer an' step off slow, for 'As you were' an' 'Mark time' is favourite commands with 'im.'" * * * * *