When the conception of love is, as it has tended to be in modern
times, legalistic, these problems are submerged. As long as marriage
is a matter of contract, the importance of the inward harmony of
personalities is of the slightest, for children may be begotten
and reared whether the parents love or hate. As long as passion is
generally conceded to be but a shameful concession to unregenerate
humanity, the average man is not likely to be concerned if he finds
that the ideal of the poets is not realized in his own nuptial couch.
But when love is free and unashamed then it is made ten times more
difficult, for lives are recognized as frank failures which once would
have seemed useful and satisfactory. Fiction, too, becomes, not more
interesting, but more important. It ceases completely to be what it
always tends to be when opinion is fixed, namely, a mere illustration
of the working out of social or moral “laws”; it becomes frankly the
record of individual souls in search of a successful way of life. It
records, no doubt, more failures than successes, but it furnishes the
best and perhaps only really important material for the study of that
art of life which grows ever more complicated as we demand that it be
more complete and beautiful.
Can Men and Women Be Friends?
By Floyd Dell
Floyd Dell
_was born at Barry, Illinois, June 28th, 1887. Is the author of several
novels and collections of essays including “Janet March,” a story of
a young woman and her adjustment to modern standards. His latest book
is “Looking at Life.” Other books are “Women as World Builders,” 1913;
“Were You Ever a Child?” 1919; “Moon Calf,” 1920; “The Briary Bush,”
1921._
CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS?
BY FLOYD DELL
Friendship between men and women is rather a new thing in the history
of the world. Friendship depends upon equality and choice, and there
has been very little of either in the relations of the sexes, up
to the present. A woman does not choose her male relatives, nor is
she according to archaic family laws their equal; motives other
than personal choice might lead her to become a man’s wife; wholly
impersonal reasons might place her in the relationship of kept
mistress. Only in her rôle of paramour was there any implication of
free choice; and even here there was no full equality, not even of
danger. None of these customary relationships of the past can be said
to have fostered friendship between men and women. Doubtless it did
exist, but under difficulties.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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