Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined SocietyYoung, John H.
General
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Young, John H.
Etiquette
Coughing, sneezing, clearing the throat, etc., if done at all, must be
done as quickly as possible. Snuffing, hawking and expectorating must
never be done in society. A sneeze can be checked by pressing the thumb
or fingers firmly across the bridge of the nose. If not checked, the
face should be buried in the handkerchief, during the act of sneezing,
for obvious reasons.
ANECDOTES, PUNS AND REPARTEES.
Anecdotes should be seldom brought into a conversation. Puns are always
regarded as vulgar. Repartee should be indulged in with moderation, and
never kept up, as it degenerates into the vulgarity of an altercation.
A SWEET AND PURE BREATH.
The breath should be kept sweet and pure. Onions are the forbidden
fruit, because of their offensiveness to the breath. No gentleman should
go into the presence of ladies smelling of tobacco.
SMOKING.
It is neither respectful nor polite to smoke in the presence of ladies,
even though they have given permission, nor should a gentleman smoke in
a room which ladies are in the habit of frequenting. In those homes when
the husband is permitted to smoke in any room of the house, the sons
will follow the father's example, and the air of the rooms becomes like
that of a public house.
SUPPRESSION OF EMOTION.
Suppression of undue emotion, whether of laughter, of anger, or of
mortification, of disappointment, or of selfishness in any form, is a
mark of good breeding.
A GOOD LISTENER.
To be a good listener is almost as great an art as to be a good talker;
but it is not enough only to listen, you must endeavor to seem
interested in the conversation of those who are talking. Only the
low-bred allow their impatience to be manifest.
GIVE PRECEDENCE TO OTHERS.
Give precedence to those older or of higher social position than
yourself, unless they required you to take the precedence, when it is
better to obey than to refuse. Be more careful to give others their rank
of precedence than to take your own.
BE MODERATE.
Always express your own opinions with modesty, and, if called upon,
defend them, but without that warmth which may lead to hard feelings. Do
not enter into argument. Having spoken your mind, and thus shown you are
not cowardly in your beliefs and opinions, drop the subject and lead to
some other topic. There is seldom any profit in idle discussion.
SINGING AND PLAYING IN SOCIETY.
A lady in company should never exhibit any anxiety to sing or play: but
being requested to do so, if she intends to comply, she should do so at
once, without waiting to be urged. If she refuses, she should do so in a
manner that shall make her decision final. Having complied, she should
not monopolize the evening with her performances, but make room for
others.
RECEIVING AND MAKING PRESENTS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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