Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined SocietyYoung, John H.
General
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Young, John H.
Etiquette
Here is the test of true ladyhood. Whenever the young find themselves in
the company of those who do not make them feel at ease, they should know
that they are not in the society of true ladies and true gentlemen, but
of pretenders; that well-bred men and women can only feel at home in the
society of the well-bred.
THE IMPORTANCE OF TRIFLES.
Some people are wont to depreciate these kind and tender qualities as
trifles; but trifles, it must be remembered, make up the aggregate of
human life. The petty incivilities, slight rudenesses and neglects of
which men are guilty, without thought, or from lack of foresight or
sympathy, are often remembered, while the great acts performed by the
same persons are often forgotten. There is no society where smiles,
pleasant looks and animal spirits are not welcomed and deemed of more
importance than sallies of wit, or refinements of understanding. The
little civilities, which form the small change of life may appear
separately of little moment, but, like the spare pennies which amount to
such large fortunes in a lifetime, they owe their importance to
repetition and accumulation.
VALUE OF PLEASING MANNERS.
The man who succeeds in any calling in life is almost invariably he who
has shown a willingness to please and to be pleased, who has responded
heartily to the advances of others, through nature and habit, while his
rival has sniffed and frowned and snubbed away every helping hand. "The
charming manners of the Duke of Marlborough," it is said, "often changed
an enemy to a friend, and to be denied a favor by him was more pleasing
than to receive one from another. It was these personal graces that made
him both rich and great. His address was so exquisitely fascinating as
to dissolve fierce jealousies and animosities, lull suspicion and
beguile the subtlest diplomacy of its arts. His fascinating smile and
winning tongue, equally with his sharp sword, swayed the destinies of
empires." The gracious manners of Charles James Fox preserved him from
personal dislike, even when he had gambled away his last shilling, and
politically, was the most unpopular man in England.
MANNERS AND PERSONAL APPEARANCE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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