Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society — John Shaqi
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined SocietyYoung, John H.
General
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Young, John H.
Etiquette
Friendly letters of introduction should only be given to personal
friends, introducing them, and only addressed to those with whom the
writer has a strong personal friendship. It is not only foolish, but
positively dangerous to give such a letter to a person with whom the
writer is but slightly acquainted, as you may thus give your countenance
and endorsement to a person who will take advantage of your carelessness
to bring you into embarrassing and mortifying positions. Again, you
should never address a letter of introduction to any but an intimate
friend of long standing, and even then it should not be done, unless you
are perfectly satisfied that the person you are to introduce will be an
agreeable and congenial person for your friend to meet, as it would be
very annoying to send to your friend a visitor who would prove to him
disagreeable. Even amongst friends of long standing such letters should
be given very cautiously and sparingly.
The form of letters of introduction is given in the chapter on
"Letter-writing."
DELIVERING A LETTER OF INTRODUCTION.
It is not necessary to deliver a friendly letter of introduction to a
person who resides in another town. It is better to send it to the
person to whom it is directed, on your arrival, accompanied by your card
of address. If he wishes to comply with the request of his friend he
will call upon you, and give you an invitation to visit him;
circumstances, however, might render it exceedingly inconvenient, or
impossible for the person to whom the letter is addressed, to call upon
you; consequently a neglect to call need not be considered a mark of
ill-breeding, though by some people it is so considered. The person
addressed must consult his own feelings in the matter, and while aiming
to do what is right, he is not bound to sacrifice business or other
important matters to attend to the entertainment of a friend's friend.
In such a case he may send his own card to the address of the person
bearing the letter of introduction, and the latter is at liberty to call
upon him at his leisure.
THE DUTY OF THE PERSON ADDRESSED.
In Europe it is the custom for a person with a letter of introduction to
make the first call, but in this country we think that a stranger should
never be made to feel that he is begging our attention, and that it is
indelicate for him to intrude until he is positive that his company
would be agreeable. Consequently, if it is your wish and in your power
to welcome any one recommended to you by letter from a friend, or to
show your regard for your friend's friend, you must call upon him with
all possible dispatch, after you receive his letter of introduction, and
give him as hospitable a reception and entertainment as it is possible
to give, and such as you would be pleased to receive were you in his
place.
LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION FOR BUSINESS PURPOSES.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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