Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined SocietyYoung, John H.
General
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Young, John H.
Etiquette
People who receive "At Home" wedding invitations, are expected to
acknowledge them as soon as received, and never fail to accept, unless
for some very good reason. Guests invited to the house, or to a marriage
feast following the ceremony, should not feel at liberty to decline from
any whim or caprice.
REQUIREMENTS OF THE BRIDEMAIDS AND USHERS.
Bridesmaids and ushers should allow nothing but illness or some
unavoidable accident to prevent them from officiating, thus showing
their appreciation of the friendship which has caused their selection to
this honored position. If by reason of sudden affliction, some one of
the bridemaids or ushers is prevented from attending, a substitute
should, if possible, be provided immediately. The reasons for this,
however, should be well understood, that no opportunity may be given for
uncharitable comments.
BRIDAL PRESENTS.
When bridal presents are given, they are sent to the bride previous to
the day of the marriage ceremony. As the universal bridal present has
fallen into disuse, this custom is not now considered obligatory, and if
immediate friends and relatives desire to make presents, it should be
spontaneous, and in no sense considered obligatory. These presents are
not put on exhibition as formerly, but are acknowledged by the bride in
a private note to the donor. It is not now considered in good form to
talk about these contributions.
ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE CEREMONIES.
In weddings at churches a master of ceremonies is often provided, who is
expected to be at the church as soon as the doors are opened. He
arranges beforehand for the spreading of a carpet from the church door
to the pavement, and if the weather be inclement, he sees that an
awning is also spread. He also sees that a white ribbon is stretched
across the main aisle of the church, far enough back from the altar to
afford sufficient room for all invited guests to occupy the front pews
of the main aisle. Sometimes an arch of flowers extends over the aisle,
so as to divide those who come in wedding garments, from those who do
not. The organist should be early at his post, and is expected to play
during the arrival of guests. The order of the religious part of the
marriage ceremony is fixed by the church in which it occurs.
THE WEDDING FEES.
There is no prescribed fee for performing the marriage ceremony. It is
regulated according to the means and liberality of the bridegroom, but
no less amount than five dollars should be given under any
circumstances.
THE CONGRATULATIONS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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