Our Family Affairs, 1867-1896Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
Our Family Affairs, 1867-1896
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
Benson family
The last paper in the Tripos, after translations into English from Latin
and Greek verse and prose, and translation into Latin and Greek from
English, was in classical history, of which I knew nothing whatever,
and so I sat up three-quarters of the night and read through the whole
of two short history primers. In the few hours that intervened between
that degrading process and the history paper, it was impossible to
forget crucial dates or events of any magnitude, and by dragging in all
collateral information, and dishing it up with a certain culinary skill
acquired by years of _Saturday Magazine_, I produced a voluminous vamp
of information. And then after some days of waiting came the lists, and
the year of Babooism had won its appropriate reward, for, sure enough, I
had taken a first. As for the history, I had produced a paper that
caused me to be congratulated by the examiner (Dr. Verrall) on my
“grasp”--acquired the night before--and was advised by him to take up
history for a second Tripos. That, knowing better than he what the
tenacity of my grasp really was, I thought better to decline.
Having taken a first (such a first!) my father was more than pleased
that, pending the choice of a profession, which I had already secretly
registered, I should stop up another year and attempt to perform a
similar feat in some other branch of knowledge. Should that also be
accomplished, I should be of a status that could see a Fellowship at
King’s within possible horizons, and he wanted no finer threshold of
life for any of his sons than a Fellowship of his college. Here then his
scholastic sympathies were completely engaged, but infinitely more
potent than they was his desire that we should all of us enter the
priesthood of the Church to which, with a unique passion, all his life
was dedicated. Arthur at this time, had already been an Eton master for
over five years, and had not taken orders, and it was not likely now
that he would. I was the next, and when my father more than gladly let
me stop up at Cambridge with a view to a second Tripos, for another
year, he coupled with his permission the desire that I should attend
some Divinity lectures. Never shall I admire tact or delicacy more than
his upon this subject. For years while at school he had put before me,
never insistently but always potently, his hope that I should be a
clergyman, so that now I was quite familiar with it. But at the very
moment when a strongly expressed desire on his part might have
determined me, he forbore to express such desire at all: if I was to be
a clergyman I must have the personal, the individual sense of vocation,
and not take orders because he wished it. Already I knew that he wished
it, but he would not stir a finger, now that I had come to an age when
definite choice opened before me, to influence my decision. He wished me
to attend Divinity lectures in order to learn something before I either
chose or rejected, but beyond that he never said a word in argument or
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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