Our Family Affairs, 1867-1896Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
Our Family Affairs, 1867-1896
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
Benson family
three-quarter line, and played squash with me in the snow; but still, by
some strange law of attraction, too regular for coincidence, they were
most of them musical, and once more, though now without sentimentality,
chapel services, as in the case of the choir-boy and Lincoln Cathedral,
were entwined with my volatile but violent affections. One such friend
sang tenor and I intrigued my corn-crake way back into the choir in
order to sit next him: another led the trebles. He must have been quite
two years younger than myself, which is a gulf wider than two decades in
mature life. But we bridged it with a structure that carried us safely
to each other; there was music in that bridge, and there was the wonder
in young eyes of the fact that you had found (and so had he) a
passionate pilgrim, voyaging through fives-courts and glades of
Savernake, because of whom those external phenomena shone with a new
brightness, so that now the sweep of the forest, and the fives-courts,
and the mire in the football fields, and the inadequate bounding of
balls in an open squash court, owing to the snow that lay soddenly
melting, grew into scenes and settings for the jewels of human
companionships and boyish affections.
Intellectual kinship, community of tastes had very little part in those
friendships: they were founded on a subtle instinct, and they were born
of a blind mutual choice. Often your tentative scouting was quite
stillborn: you would hope for a friendship, and perhaps he would have no
signals for you, but wait wide-eyed and expectant, for somebody quite
different. Or again you could have a “culte” (to adopt an odious
phraseology for which, in English, there happens to be no equivalent)
for someone, who in the sundered worlds of modern and classic schools,
might be miles away, and then with a sudden and wondrous reward, the
idol would give some such signal of glance (that would be a direct
method) or more indirectly, he would say something to his companion as
he happened to pass you in the court, which you knew was really meant
for you, and on your next meeting you would perhaps get a glance, which
was at least an enquiry as to whether you were disposed towards
friendship. And then as you waited in the clear dusk of some summer
evening for the sounding of the boring chapel-bell, you would sit down
on one of the seats round the lime-trees in the court outside, and he
would stroll by, still linked by an arm to some other friend, and you
rather dolefully wondered whether, after all, there was to be anything
doing. The two would be lost in the crowd beginning to collect round the
chapel gate, and then perhaps the figure for which you were watching
would detach itself, alone now, from the others, and with an elaborate
unconsciousness of your presence he would stroll to the seat where you
waited, and with the implacable shyness that always ushered in these
affairs still take no notice of you. As he sat down it may be that a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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