Some anxiety about his private affairs aided this mental tendency. Some
time ago, he had been appealed to by the tenant of his Kentish farm for
a reduction of rent, which, on consideration of the facts submitted to
him, he felt unable to refuse. The farmer was now dead, and it was not
without trouble that the land had been leased again on the same reduced
terms; moreover, the new tenant seemed to be a not very satisfactory
man, and Dymchurch had to consider the possibility that this part of
his small income might become uncertain, or fail him altogether. Now
and then he entertained the thought of studying agriculture, living
upon his farm, and earning bread in the sweat of his brow; but a little
talk with practical men showed him all the difficulties of such an
undertaking. So far as his own day-to-day life was concerned, he felt
small need of money; but it constantly worried him to think of his
sisters down in Somerset, their best years going by, not indeed in
actual want, but with so little of the brightness or hope natural to
ladies of their birth. They did not appear unhappy; like him, they had
a preference for the tranquil mode of life; none the less, he saw how
different everything would have been with them but for their narrow
means, and, after each visit to the silent meadow-circled house, he
came away reproaching himself for his inertness.
The invitation to Lashmar's restaurant-dinner annoyed him a little, for
casual company was by no means to his taste; when it was over, he felt
glad that he had come, and more than ever fretted in spirit about his
personal insignificance, his uselessness in the scheme of things. He
was growing to hate the meaningless symbol which distinguished him from
ordinary men; the sight of an envelope addressed to him stirred his
spleen, for it looked like deliberate mockery. How if he cast away this
empty lordship? Might it not be the breaking down of a barrier between
him and real life? In doing so, what duty would he renounce? Who cared
a snap of the fingers whether he signed himself "Dymchurch" or "Walter
Fallowfield?" It was long enough since the barony of Dymchurch had
justified its existence by any public service, and, as most people
knew, its private record had small dignity. The likelihood was that he
would never marry, and, unless either of his sisters did so, every day
a more improbable thing, the title might fall into happy oblivion.
What, in deed, did such titles mean nowadays? They were a silly
anachronism, absurdly in contradiction with that scientific teaching
which rules our lives. Lashmar, of course, was right in his demand for
a new aristocracy to oust the old, an aristocracy of nature, of the
born leaders of men. It might be that he had some claim to a humble
position in that spiritual hierarchy, and perhaps the one manifest way
to make proof of it was by flinging aside his tinsel privilege--an
example, a precedent, to the like-minded of his caste.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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