Our Mr. Wrenn: The Romantic Adventures of a Gentle ManLewis, Sinclair
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Our Mr. Wrenn: The Romantic Adventures of a Gentle Man
Lewis, Sinclair
Courtship -- Fiction; Love stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Middle-aged men -- United States -- Fiction
“Course; call me Istra or anything else. Only, you mustn’t call my
bluff. What do I know about tea? All of us who play are bluffers, more
or less, and we are ever so polite in pretending not to know the others
are bluffing…. There’s lots of kinds of tea. In the New York Chinatown
I saw once—Do you know Chinatown? Being a New-Yorker, I don’t suppose
you do.”
“Oh yes. And Italiantown. I used to wander round there.”
“Well, down at the Seven Flowery Kingdoms Chop Suey and American
Cooking there’s tea at five dollars a cup that they advertise is grown
on ‘cloud-covered mountain-tops.’ I suppose when the tops aren’t
cloud-covered they only charge three dollars a cup…. But, serious-like,
there’s really only two kinds of teas—those you go to to meet the man
you love and ought to hate, and those you give to spite the women you
hate but ought to—hate! Isn’t that lovely and complicated? That’s
playing. With words. My aged parent calls it ‘talking too much and not
saying anything.’ Note that last—not saying _anything!_ It’s one of the
rules in playing that mustn’t be broken.”
He understood that better than most of the things she said. “Why,” he
exclaimed, “it’s kind of talking sideways.”
“Why, yes. Of course. Talking sideways. Don’t you see now?”
Gallant gentleman as he was, he let her think she had invented the
phrase.
She said many other things; things implying such vast learning that he
made gigantic resolves to “read like thunder.”
Her great lesson was the art of taking tea. He found, surprisedly, that
they weren’t really going to endanger their clothes by rolling on park
grass. Instead, she led him to a tea-room behind a candy-shop on
Tottenham Court Road, a low room with white wicker chairs, colored
tiles set in the wall, and green Sedji-ware jugs with irregular bunches
of white roses. A waitress with wild-rose cheeks and a busy step
brought Orange Pekoe and lemon for her, Ceylon and Russian Caravan tea
and a jug of clotted cream for him, with a pile of cinnamon buns.
“But—” said Istra. “Isn’t this like Alice in Wonderland! But you must
learn the buttering of English muffins most of all. If you get to be
very good at it the flunkies will let you take tea at the Carleton.
They are such hypercritical flunkies, and the one that brings the gold
butter-measuring rod to test your skill, why, he always wears
knee-breeches of silver gray. So you can see, Billy, how careful you
have to be. And eat them without buttering your nose. For if you butter
your nose they’ll think you’re a Greek professor. And you wouldn’t like
that, would you, honey?” He learned how to pat the butter into the
comfortable brown insides of the muffins that looked so cold and floury
without. But Istra seemed to have lost interest; and he didn’t in the
least follow her when she observed:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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