Another evening came; the old gentleman was again upon the step; the family butcher was sauntering carelessly by the back gate. Alas! in place of the youth, ’twas the grocer himself who called. The butcher did not know him; he obeyed instructions. On the day of the unfortunate man’s funeral these lines were read; they were found in his pocket, and explain the cause of his inopportune visit:-- “Sweet maid, sweet maid, I had a clerk, A taking youth was he; I’ve sent _him_ up to Cherry Hill, The _bill_--I bring to thee.” We will dwell no longer upon this mournful episode, but return to our main subject. [ROMEO AND JULIET.] The ladies of the various ward committees did not confine their efforts to canvassing. They worked afghans that nobody wanted, and slippers that nobody could use; purchased desks that wouldn’t open, and pocket-books that wouldn’t shut, and raffled them off at prices as fancy as the goods themselves. They appeared in amateur theatricals and variety shows. Every ward had its Romeo and its Juliet; every precinct its Lady Macbeth and Wellington De Boots. Their acting was wonderful and awe-inspiring. Audiences gazed upon them in public with dumb amaze, and wept in private, they knew not why. People began to look upon tickets for amateur performances as Japanese officials regard a polite invitation to “Hari Kari.” Call-boys and scene-shifters at regular theatres set up for luminaries. The demoralization of the drama was complete. But all these things were mere side dishes, to be mentioned incidentally in connection with the combined efforts, viz.:-- “The Great National Tea Party,” “The Greater International Tea Party,” and “The Greatest Patent Loan Office Exhibition.” It is with a feeling of profound diffidence that we allude to them. THE NATIONAL OR MARTHA WASHINGTON TEA PARTY. [TOAST AND TEA.] Under the supervision of their revered sovereign and her executive star chamber cabinet, the ladies transformed the Academy of Music and Horticultural Hall into one grand coffee house and sandwich caravansary. To save the expense of attendants, the aids themselves dispensed tea and coffee, smiles and gingerbread, bewitching glances and ham sandwiches to the thousands crowding the vast saloons. They attired themselves in old-time fashion to look like so many Mrs. Washingtons. Many a family cheerfully sacrificed its furniture covers to array its daughters in the style of costume made sacred by Martha. They stuck little blotches of black court plaster upon their chins, cheeks, and the tips of their noses, to imitate her venerated pimples, and dipped their heads into the family flour barrel to make their hair look like to hers.