Daisy Shortcut respectfully dedicates his portion of this work to his friend and bottle-holder Arry O’Pagus, and Mr. O’Pagus returns the compliment, by dedicating the outpourings of his colossal intellect to Daisy Shortcut, and, joining hands, they sign themselves, The Purchaser’s Most Obedient Servants. PARLOR C, CONTINENTAL HOTEL, PHILADELPHIA, December 1st, 1875. CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. PAGE “THE SPARK.” . . . HOW IT ALL CAME ABOUT 9 CHAPTER II. “THE FUEL.” . . . WHAT THE WOMEN DID 14 CHAPTER III. “THE COOKS.” . . . WHO FED THE FLAMES 21 CHAPTER IV. “THE LOOKERS ON.” . . . WHO CAME TO BE WARMED 27 CHAPTER V. “THE CRACKLING.” . . . PREPARATIONS FOR THE BLAZE 34 CHAPTER VI. “THE FIRE.” . . . WHO FLARED AND HOW THEY DID IT 40 CHAPTER VII. “THE REFLECTIONS.” . . . SHADOWS, SHAPES, AND THOSE WHO MADE THEM 50 CHAPTER VIII. “THE GLOW.” . . . WHO HELPED AND WHO ENJOYED IT 58 CHAPTER IX. “THE FLICKERING.” . . . HOW IT DIMMED AND HOW IT BRIGHTENED 66 CHAPTER X. “THE SMOKE.” . . . HOW IT WENT UP 75 OUR SHOW. CHAPTER I. “THE SPARK.” ... HOW IT ALL CAME ABOUT. [Illustration] If the late Christopher Columbus, Esq., could have foreseen, as an indirect result of his little excursion in the spring of 1492, the infliction of the following pages upon posterity, Mr. Columbus, very likely, would have stayed at home. Think kindly, therefore, of the dead; let no blame attach to him. Perhaps a few remarks concerning the ancient mariner may prove instructive to the reader. Being both happy and able to impart useful and interesting information, we cheerfully devote a paragraph to the defunct navigator.