Opening the text

Our Show: A Humorous Account of the International Exposition in Honor of the Centennial Anniversary of American Independence, from Inception to Completion, Including Description of Buildings, Biographies of Managers, Receptions of Foreign Dignitaries, Opening Ceremonies, Poem, Oration, Amusing Survey of All Departments, Incidents, Etc., Etc.Cohen, David Solis

History

Our Show: A Humorous Account of the International Exposition in Honor of the Centennial Anniversary of American Independence, from Inception to Completion, Including Description of Buildings, Biographies of Managers, Receptions of Foreign Dignitaries, Opening Ceremonies, Poem, Oration, Amusing Survey of All Departments, Incidents, Etc., Etc.

Name: Our Show: A Humorous Account of the International Exposition in Honor of the Centennial Anniversary of American Independence, from Inception to Completion, Including Description of Buildings, Biographies of Managers, Receptions of Foreign Dignitaries, Opening Ceremonies, Poem, Oration, Amusing Survey of All Departments, Incidents, Etc., Etc.
Author: Cohen, David Solis

Cohen, David Solis

Centennial Exhibition (1876 : Philadelphia, Pa.) -- Humor

though of immense importance, are of especial interest only to the
exhibitors. Others desirous of posting themselves on this point, are
referred to the musty, fusty rows of figures and statistics which will
soon flood the American rag market. Two cents a pound is not an
exorbitant price for information which is at all desirable. From the
list of nine hundred and eight foreign and domestic judges, we will
merely select the following familiar names:--Ludlow, Thayer, Biddle,
Dwight, Paxson, Hackett, Cardoza, and Finletter; Dr. Mary Walker, Prof.
Proctor, Stephen Pearl Andrews, Bret Harte, Lydia Thompson, Wm.
Gladstone, Elwood Rowan, Gen. Garibaldi, Susan B. Anthony, and the
Marquis of Lorne.

As the style of report was similar in all cases, an example will give a
general idea of the plan adopted. The scriptural quotations were altered
to suit each instance.

  +-----------------+-------------------------------+-----------+
  | “He giveth his  |           No. 1724.           |“There is  |
  | beloved sleep.” |    “Persian Roach Powder.”    | death in  |
  |                 |                               |the pot.”  |
  +------+-------+--+---+-------+------+-------+----+----+------+
  |No. in|Rank in|Atten-|Punctu-|Liber-|  Mis- |Marks of |Grand |
  |class.|class. |dance.| ality.|ality.|conduct|appreci- |Total.|
  |      |       |      |       |      | marks.|ation of |      |
  |      |       |      |       |      |       | Judges’ |      |
  |      |       |      |       |      |       |services.|      |
  +------+-------+------+-------+------+-------+---------+------+
  |  427 |  426  |  10  |   10  |$12.75|   5   |12 boxes.| 2165 |
  +------+-------+------+-------+------+-------+---------+------+
  |                                 --Three Gold Medals--       |
  |                                                             |
  |Parent or Guardian will sign here ...........................|
  |                                                             |
  |“LORNE”--Judge of Roach Powder and Mother-in-Law Departments.|
  +-------------------------------------------------------------+

The only squabble among the judges was concerning the report on American
fried oysters. Councilman Rowan and Premier Gladstone indulged in some
marked personalities. They might have come to blows but for the prompt
intervention of Miss Lydia Thompson and her little cowhide. She cornered
the belligerents. Mr. Gladstone apologized to our distinguished
councilman over a dish of the matter in dispute, and they compromised on
two gold medals and an honorable mention.

[AN END TO EVERYTHING.]

And now--

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.