Possibly it was loneliness which directed Wynne once more to seek
employment upon the stage. In the play in which he appeared he was given
the part of a hot-potato man who was on the stage for only a few
moments.
To perfect the detail for this rôle he made the acquaintance of a real
example of this calling, and spent many midnight hours talking with the
old fellow and warming himself before the pleasant coke fire.
Wynne discovered that there was a deal of philosophy to be gleaned in
this manner. Thereafter he became well known to many of the strange,
quiet men who feed the hungry in queer, out-of-the-way corners of the
sleeping city.
On Sundays he would go to Petticoat Lane, or pry into the private lives
of the outcasts of Norfolk House. The East End fascinated him, with its
mixture of old customs and new—its spice of adventure and savour of
Orientalism. Many of the folk with whom he conversed were strangely
illuminating. After an initial period of distrust and suspicion they
would open out and disgorge some startling views on life and matters in
general. They spoke of anarchy and crime and confinements as their more
civilized brothers of the West spoke of the brand of cigarettes they
preferred. The elemental side of these men’s natures, being so totally
dissimilar from his own, made a profound impression upon Wynne. Their
attitude toward women amazed and perplexed him. The phrase, “_my_
woman,” with its solid, possessive, animal note, was original to the
ears. It suggested an entirely different attitude from the one he had
observed in France, the one so alive with thrill and volatile desire.
“_My_ woman!” he repeated it over to himself as he plodded homeward
through the dark streets. He said it experimentally with the same
inflection that had been used—and yet to him it was only an inflection.
He could not conceive a circumstance in which he would naturally stress
the “my,” or would actually feel the possessive impulse to make it
inevitable.
“She’s _my_ woman,” the man had said, when telling his story—“_my_
woman, d’y’hear?” Followed an oathy description of a chair and table
fight, a beer bottle broken across a bedrail and used as a
dagger—something, that was once a man, carried in the arms of a
trustworthy few and hidden in a murky doorway a couple of streets
distant.
It was hard to imagine such a coming about at the dictates of a
convention of sex. If a woman inclined to sin with another man, let
her—what did it matter? Fidelity was of very little consequence. Common
reason proved it to be a myth. Yet men committed murder that
fidelity—physical fidelity—might be preserved. That’s what it amounted
to. But did it? That possessive “my” argued a greater and more masterful
motive—something beyond mere moral adherences.
“_My_ woman!” Very perplexing!
“But I suppose I would fight to the death for my ideals—whatever they
may be.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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