With sudden force it struck Wynne that he should define his ideals, and
know precisely at what he aimed. It was good for a man to be certain of
those things for which he would be prepared to lay down his life.
He set himself the task of writing down what his ideals actually were,
and in so doing failed horribly. What he wrote was inconclusive and
embryonic. To a reader it would have conveyed little or nothing. There
was a hint of some ambition, but nothing more. It showed the target of
his hopes in the pupal stage. The grammatical perfection with which he
wrote only added melancholy to the failure.
“My God!” exclaimed Wynne, “I can’t even write a specification of what I
want to do.”
VI
The play in which Wynne figured as a hot-potato man was not a success,
and there followed a period in which he found no work, and very
considerable hardship. Then his fortunes turned a trifle, and to reward
himself for all he had endured he took new rooms at the top of a house
near Tottenham Court Road, and spent all his money buying furniture and
queer odds and ends of brass and Oriental china. It was the first time
he had indulged in the luxury of agreeable appointments, and it gave him
tremendous pleasure. The furniture he bought was true to its period,
though time and the worm had bitten deep beneath the blackened surfaces.
He bought in the Caledonian Market or little known streets, and took a
fierce pride in bartering for his prizes. These he would bring home upon
his head, or, if their size defeated his powers, would push them before
him on a greengrocer’s barrow. For pieces of _vertu_ he possessed a sure
and infallible eye, and a remarkable sense for disposing them to the
best advantage.
On the mantelpiece of the attic sitting-room he achieved successfully
what, years before, he had failed to do in his father’s home. A note of
colour from a cracked Kin Lung bowl, a fillip of light from a battered
copper kettle, a slanting pile of beautifully-bound books, and the thing
was done.
There was no struggle after effect, but the effect was there as if by
nature—the right things had found their rightful abiding place.
He found writing easier in these surroundings. Hitherto his eye had
inevitably fallen upon some hideous object or picture, unthinkingly
bought and disastrously disposed in relation to its neighbours—then his
thoughts would travel away, lose the thread of their reasoning, or
become involved in futile speculation upon other folks’ perverted
tastes. But here it was different: here there were no disturbing
influences, nothing but a pleasant, restful simplicity.
Mrs. Mommet, the bed-shaker, who, for a very small wage, gave Wynne an
equally small measure of time, did not share his high opinions of
himself as a decorator.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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