Out of the Hurly-Burly; Or, Life in an Odd CornerClark, Charles Heber
General
Out of the Hurly-Burly; Or, Life in an Odd Corner
Clark, Charles Heber
American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories
As it seemed to be wholly impossible to depend upon these faithless
artisans, our cook was instructed to bring the range into service again
without waiting longer for repairs, and to give the family a properly
prepared meal in the morning. While we were at breakfast there was a
knock at the gate, and presently we perceived the plumber and his men
coming up the yard with a general assortment of tools and materials. The
range at the moment of his entrance to the kitchen was red hot; and when
he realized the fact, he flung his tools on the floor and expressed his
indignation in the most violent and improper language, while his
attendant fiends sat around in the chairs and growled in sympathy with
their chief. When I appeared upon the scene, the plumber addressed me
with the air of a man who had suffered a great and irreparable wrong at
my hands, and he really displayed so much feeling that for a few moments
I had an indistinct consciousness that I had somehow been guilty of an
act of gross injustice to an unfortunate and persecuted fellow-being.
Before I could recover myself sufficiently to present my side of the
case with the force properly belonging to it, the plumbers marched into
the yard, where they tossed a quantity of machinery and tools and lead
pipe under the shed, and then left.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
We had no fire in the range the next morning, but the plumbers did not
come until four o'clock in the afternoon, and then they merely dumped a
cart load of lime-boxes and hoes upon the asparagus bed and went home.
An interval of four days elapsed before we heard of them again; and
meanwhile the cook twice nearly killed herself by stumbling over the
tools while going out into the shed in the dark. One morning, however,
the gang arrived before I had risen; and when I came down to breakfast,
I found that they had made a mortar bed on our best grass plot, and had
closed up the principal garden walk with a couple of wagon loads of
sand. I endured this patiently because it seemed to promise speedy
performance of the work. The plumbers, however, went away at about nine
o'clock, and the only reason we had for supposing they had not forgotten
us was that a man with a cart called in the afternoon and shot a
quantity of bricks down upon the pavement in such a position that nobody
could go in or out of the front gate. Two days afterward the plumbers
came and began to make a genuine effort to reach the boiler. It was
buried in the wall in such a manner that it was wholly inaccessible by
any other method than by the removal of the bricks from the outside. The
man who erected the house evidently was a party with the plumber to a
conspiracy to give the latter individual something to do. They labored
right valiantly at the wall, and by supper-time they had removed at
least twelve square feet of it, making a hole large enough to have
admitted a locomotive. Then they took out the old boiler and went away,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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