American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
I did not plead guilty; I remained doggedly silent, however, and not
even the efforts of the lawyer appointed to defend me availed to
mitigate my sentence. I had been caught red-handed, had made a furious
assault upon the kindly disposed tenant of the house I had fired, and
this, indicating a deep, dark vengeance based upon some real or fancied
wrong, brought me the swift, harsh decree of Jersey justice--five years
in the Trenton penitentiary. And so not even notifying my captain, I
sank out of sight as completely as though I had signed for a voyage and
sailed.
Five years behind the bars will alter the character--yes, even the
soul--of any man living. And I do not claim that mine was changed
for the better. I began that five years with the faint hope that,
somehow, Grace Morton would learn of my plight and devise means to
free me. Then, as this hope left me with the passing of the months,
a dull, apathetic inertia took possession of me, and I worked, ate,
and slept as mechanically as an animal. Then came the meridian of my
imprisonment, when two years and a half had expired, and I could look
forward to release. With this prospect in view my mind woke to a keener
activity than it had ever known under the spur of ambition; for that
ambition was based upon a love for a girl that was now eclipsed by a
hatred for her brother. I looked forward to freedom, not that I might
win that girl, but that I might find that man--somewhere, and alone.
As for Grace Morton, the doubt often came to my mind as to whether I
ever had loved her. I had really known her only as a prattling child;
I had met her once, as a woman, and in the fervor of my sudden emotion
had embraced and kissed her. Was that love? Was her acquiescence the
sign of a mental invitation, or only the acceptance of a matter of
course? Was the sister of such a brother worth loving?
Yet these unsettled doubts invariably crystallized unto the hope that
she would so prove herself, and with this hope in mind my plans for
vengeance never embraced the killing of my enemy, only the meeting
with him, alone in some secluded place, where I could use my superior
strength and skill and thrash him within an inch of his life.
In one way my imprisonment had refined me, or rather, worn off the
rough spots acquired at sea. Good behavior had brought no commutation
of my five years' sentence, but it had brought me light tasks instead
of hard ones, and one of these was the care of the prison library,
which gave me communion with many good books.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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