The wise man prays, we are told, for a good digestion: let us add to
the prayer—and a bad memory. Truly we are sometimes tempted to think
that we are the only ones cursed with this corroding canker. Our
friends, we can swear, have all, without exception, atrocious memories;
why is ours alone so hideously vital? Yet this isolation must be
imaginary; for even as we engage in this selfish moan for help in our
own petty case, we are moved to add a word for certain others who,
meaning no ill, unthinkingly go about to add to humanity’s already
heavy load of suffering. How much needless misery is caused in this
world by the reckless “recollections” of dramatic and other
celebrities? You gods, in lending ear to our prayer, remember too,
above all other sorts and conditions of men, these our poor erring
brothers and sisters, the sometime _sommités_ of Mummerdom!
Moments there are, it is true, when this traitor spirit tricks you:
when some subtle scent, some broken notes of an old song, nay, even
some touch of a fresher air on your cheeks at night—a breath of _“le
vent qui vient à travers la montagne”_—have power to ravish, to catch
you back to the blissful days when you trod the one authentic Paradise.
Moments only, alas! Then the evil crowd rushes in again, howls in the
sacred grove, tramples down and defiles the happy garden; and once more
you cry to Our Lady of Sleep, crowned of the white poppy. And you envy
your dog who, for full discharge of a present benefaction having wagged
you a hearty, expressive tail, will then pursue it gently round the
hearth-rug till, in restful coil, he reaches it at last, and oblivion
with it; every one of his half-dozen diurnal sleeps being in truth a
royal amnesty.
But whose the hand that shall reach us the herb of healing? Perdita
blesses every guest at the shearing with a handful of blossom; but this
gift is not to be asked of her whose best wish to her friends is “grace
and remembrance.” The fair Ophelia, rather: nay, for as a nursling she
hugs her grief, and for her the memory of the past is a “sorrow’s crown
of sorrow.” What flowers are these her pale hand offers? “There’s
pansies, that’s for thoughts!” For me rather, O dear Ophelia, the white
poppy of forgetfulness.
A Bohemian in Exile
A Reminiscence
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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