Pages from a Journal with Other PapersWhite, William Hale
General
Pages from a Journal with Other Papers
White, William Hale
English essays
After six months of our acquaintanceship had passed, M., an old
schoolfellow of mine, took lodgings near me for the summer. She was a
remarkable girl. If she was not beautiful, she was better-looking than I
was, and she possessed a something, I know not what, more powerful than
beauty to fascinate men. Perhaps it was her unconstrained naturalness.
In walking, sitting, standing—whatever she did—her movements and
attitudes were not impeded or unduly masked by artificial restrictions.
I should not have called her profound, but what she said upon the
commonest subjects was interesting, because it was so entirely her own.
If she disliked a neighbour, she almost always disliked her for a reason
which we saw, directly it was pointed out to us, to be just, but it was
generally one which had not been given before. Her talk upon matters
externally trivial was thus much more to me than many discourses upon the
most important topics. On moral questions she expressed herself without
any regard to prejudices. She did not controvert the authenticity of the
ordinary standards, but nevertheless behaved as if she herself were her
only law. The people in R., her little native borough, considered her to
be dangerous, and I myself was once or twice weak enough to wonder that
she held on a straight course with so little help from authority,
forgetting that its support, in so far as it possesses any vital
strength, is derived from the same internal source which supplied
strength to her.
When she came to S. she was unwell, and consulted my friend B. He did
not at first quite like attending her, and she reported to me with great
laughter how she had been told that he had made some inquiries about her
from one of her neighbours at home with whom he happened to be
acquainted, and how he had manœuvred in his visits to get the servants or
the landlady into the room. I met him soon afterwards, and he informed
me that he had a new patient. When he heard that I knew her—I did not
say how much I knew—he became inquisitive, and at last, after much
beating about the bush, knitting his eyebrows and lowering his voice, he
asked me whether I was aware that she was not quite—quite _above
suspicion_! My goodness, how I flamed up! I defended her with
vehemence: I exaggerated her prudence and her modesty; I declared, what
was the simple truth, that she was the last person in the world against
whom such a scandalous insinuation should be directed, and that she was
singularly inaccessible to vulgar temptation. I added that
notwithstanding her seeming lawlessness she was not only remarkably
sensitive to any accusation of bad manners, but that upon certain matters
she could not endure even a joke. The only quarrel I remember to have
had with her was when I lapsed into some commonplace jest about her
intimacy with a music-master who gave her lessons. The way in which she
took that jest I shall never forget. If I had made it to any other
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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