Pages from a Journal with Other PapersWhite, William Hale
General
Pages from a Journal with Other Papers
White, William Hale
English essays
“TO MY NIECE JUDITH,—You have been so kind to your aunt, the only
human being, at last, who was left to love her, that she could not
refrain from telling you the one passage in her history which is of
any importance or interest.”
JAMES FORBES
“IT is all a lie, and it is hard to believe that people who preach it do
not know it to be a lie.”
So said James Forbes to Elizabeth Castleton, the young woman to whom he
was engaged. She was the daughter of a clergyman, and James, who had
been brought up at Rugby and Oxford, was now in his last year at a London
hospital, and was going to be a doctor.
“I am sure my father does not know it to be a lie, and I do not myself
know it to be a lie.”
“I was not thinking of your father, but of the clergy generally, and you
_do_ know it to be a lie.”
“It is not true of my brother, and, excepting my father and brother, you
have not been in company with parsons, as you call them, for half an hour
in your life.”
“Do you mean to tell me you have any doubts about this discredited
rubbish?”
“If I have I would rather not speak about them now. Jim, dear Jim, let
us drop the subject and talk of something else.”
He was walking by her side, with his hands in his coat pockets. She drew
out one of his hands; he did not return the pressure, and presently
released himself.
“I thought you were to be my intellectual companion. I have heard you
say yourself that a marriage which is not a marriage of mind is no
marriage.”
“But, Jim, is there nothing in the world to think about but this?”
“There is nothing so important. Are we to be dumb all our lives about
what you say is religion?”
They separated and soon afterwards the engagement was broken off. Jim
had really loved Elizabeth, but at that time he was furious against what
he called “creeds.” He waited for three or four years till he had
secured a fair practice, and then married a clever and handsome young
woman who wrote poems, and had captivated him by telling him a witty
story from Heine. Elizabeth never married.
Thirty years passed, and Jim, now a famous physician, had to go a long
distance down the Great Western Railway to attend a consultation. At
Bath an elderly lady entered the carriage carrying a handbag with the
initials “E. C.” upon it. She sat in the seat farthest away from him on
the opposite side, and looked at him steadfastly. He also looked at her,
but no word was spoken for a minute. He then crossed over, fell on his
knees, and buried his head with passionate sobbing on her knees. She put
her hands on him and her tears fell.
“Five years,” at last he said; “I may live five years with care. She has
left me. I will give up everything and go abroad with you. Five years;
it is not much, but it will be something, everything. I shall die with
your face over me.”
The train was slackening speed for Bristol; she bent down and kissed him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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