Pages from a Journal with Other PapersWhite, William Hale
General
Pages from a Journal with Other Papers
White, William Hale
English essays
“Dearest Jim,” she whispered, “I have waited a long time, but I was sure
we should come together again at last. It is enough.”
“You will go with me, then?”
Again she kissed him. “It must not be.”
Before he could reply the train was stopping at the platform, and a
gentleman with a lady appeared at the door. Miss Castleton stepped out
and was at once driven away in a carriage with her companions.
He lived three years and then died almost suddenly of the disease which
he had foreseen would kill him. He had no children, but few relatives,
and his attendant was a hospital nurse. But the day before his death a
lady appeared who announced herself as a family friend, and the nurse was
superseded. It was Elizabeth: she came to his bedside, and he recognised
her.
“Not till this morning,” she said, “did I hear you were ill.”
“Happy,” he cried, “though I die to-night.”
Soon afterwards—it was about sundown—he became unconscious; she sat there
alone with him till the morning broke, and then he passed away, and she
closed his eyes.
ATONEMENT
“YOU ask me how I lost my foot? You I see that dog?”—an unattractive
beast lying before the fire—“well, when I tell you how I came by him you
will know how I lost it;” and he then related the following story:—
I was in Westmoreland with my wife and children for a holiday and we had
brought our dog with us, for we knew he would be unhappy with the
strangers to whom we had let our house. The weather was very wet and our
lodgings were not comfortable; we were kept indoors for days together,
and my temper, always irritable, became worse. My wife never resisted me
when I was in these moods and the absence of opposition provoked me all
the more. Had she stood up against me and told me I ought to be ashamed
of myself it would have been better for me. One afternoon everything
seemed to go wrong. A score of petty vexations, not one of which was of
any moment, worked me up to desperation. I threw my book across the
room, to the astonishment of my children, and determined to go out,
although it was raining hard. My dog, a brown retriever, was lying on
the mat just outside the door, and I nearly fell over him. “God damn
you!” said I, and kicked him. He howled with pain, but, although he was
the best of house-dogs and would have brought down any thief who came
near him, he did not growl at me, and quietly followed me. I am not
squeamish, but I was frightened directly the oath had escaped my lips. I
felt as if I had created something horrible which I could not annihilate,
and that it would wait for me and do me some mischief. The dog kept
closely to my heels for about a mile and I could not make him go on in
front. Usually the least word of encouragement or even the mere mention
of his name would send him scampering with delight in advance. I began
to think of something else, but in about a quarter of an hour I looked
round and found he was not behind me. I whistled and called, but he did
not come.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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