American fiction -- 20th century; Manhattan (New York, N.Y.) -- Fiction; Women artists -- Fiction
stand the vulgarity, the stupidity of such a girl! Maybe she isn't
stupid or vulgar. That singer, Esther Brandès is a law unto herself; no
doubt has a regular flock of lovers ... artistic women are privileged
... I wish I was an artistic woman. I've never had a real affair. If
these monads of mine are to have their day it's high time they began.
Only to think of it, I was once spoony over Alfred. I can't endure
his presence now. They say we always return to our first loves. What
nonsense. We usually turn down a side street when we see an old beau
approaching. I know I do. I wonder whether Ulick really was in earnest
about our dream-children? Our monads must have been mighty lively when
we held hands at the Casino and at Martin's. What were their names,
those children? Shamus, Tenth Earl, or is it Marquis of Thingamajig
somewhere in Ireland? Shamus and----? Wasn't there a horse or a mare
in the dream? Yes, yes, I have it, Brunnhilde's white horse, or was it
one of the white horses of 'Rosmersholm'? No, it wasn't Ibsen at all,
it was Wagner. Grane! Aha! That's it. Grane and Shamus. What darlings
they must be, and their mother who conceived and bore them never saw
them except in her dreams. But they are more real than flesh and blood
children. Our dream children. I'm beginning to think I love Ulick....
Oh! he is a dear. I'd better go to bed or I'll end a lunatic. When a
woman ceases to be mistress of herself she is likely to become the
mistress of a man. Dreams. Heigho! Now for my bed of tormenting fire
not on Brunnhilde's fire-begirt rock, but between my sheets. But the
fire is there just the same ... the fire ... the lovely, teasing fire
that brings dreams ... and Ulick ... and our dream-children, Shamus and
Grane ... Shamus...."
V
Mentally refreshed after her monologue and physically buoyant because
of a dreamless night Mona ate a hearty breakfast. No lilies and
languour for her in the golden morning hours. She read a newspaper. Her
appetite for the realities we call "life" was fresh; in the evening
she couldn't bear the sight of printed news. The post brought her two
letters. One told her that her subscription to a musical publication
had expired; a glance at the superscription of the other sent her
scurrying upstairs to her Ebony Tower, as she fantastically named her
study. It was from him, the father of her dream-children, the one man
in the world for her. As if dazzled by an unexpected flash of lightning
she saw the truth; she loved Ulick Invern. She must make him her
husband,--or?... She read his letter. It began thus:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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