American fiction -- 20th century; Manhattan (New York, N.Y.) -- Fiction; Women artists -- Fiction
Mona Milton was what the French, with their feeling for nuance, would
call "fausse-maigre"; she gave an impression of slenderness which her
solidly-built figure contradicted. She was partial to draperies and
that, perhaps, created the illusion of diaphaneity. Her health was
excellent. Not even at the time when women are 'minions of the moon'
did she relapse into that forlorn flabbiness noticeable even to the
ordinary obtuse male. Her mother had reared her in the old-fashioned
way and had put the fear of God in her heart (read: human respect for
the polite conventions of a rapidly disintegrating social hierarchy).
But her father, who called himself agnostic, had quietly pooh-poohed
his wife's solicitousness regarding the little virtues. Hedges to be
vaulted if needs must, he told his daughter, the chief companion of
his long tramps through Central Park, when it was a green, delightful
retreat from the city's menacing encroachment. Truth is stranger
than morals, he also said. Mona loved the park. Every day saw her
reading or walking through the less-footed by-ways. For her, mornings
were mysteries. She would sit in the sun for hours, a book in her
lap, her eyes dreaming. Her sub-conscious life was struggling for
self-recognition. Her ego was transformed after puberty announced
itself. She was an orchestra of cells; the multiplicity of her egos
astonished, yet did not distress her. She accepted the new stream of
consciousness in her that had burst its barriers and painted over
her imagination a fresher, more beautiful world. Of physiology and
psychology she had more than the rudiments. Sex did not puzzle her,
only its cabined seclusion from the general current of daily life.
Her mother had been frank with her since she had reached the age of
curiousness; in turn Mona was frank with her father. She asked him
questions that she would not ask her mother and he answered them
unhesitatingly. He believed that insincerity cloaked a multitude of
stupidities. One day when she was hardly sixteen she said: "Papa, why
do I love dolls so much?" "The maternal instinct," he had replied. "Oh,
yes, anybody knows that, but why am I different from other girls?"
"Different, my dear?" "Yes, different. I haven't one friend who loves
dolls. They are fond of dogs but laugh at me when I dress and undress
my darling doll. Lydia Fuller says I'll be married at eighteen and have
twins at nineteen--maybe sooner," added Mona, pensively. The old man
only shook his head and resumed his Schopenhauer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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