Palace and Hovel; Or, Phases of London LifeKirwan, Daniel Joseph
History
Palace and Hovel; Or, Phases of London Life
Kirwan, Daniel Joseph
London (England) -- Description and travel; London (England) -- Social life and customs
There are all kinds of games in progress. There is the ancient and
honorable game of "cockshie," and "cocoa-nut." The latter is curious.
Three cocoa-nuts, hollowed out, are placed on the top of as many
sticks, which are stuck upright in the ground, and the game, costing
a penny, is to knock off those cocoa-nuts at three strokes, when you
can claim three pence--providing, of course, that you knock off all
three cocoa-nuts; which, of course, can only be done by the princely
proprietor himself after hard training.
There is one noisy fellow on a little hillock, pockmarked and
ferret-eyed, in a greasy woolen duster, who has drawn a large crowd
around him by his peculiar and quack-like oratory. This fellow is a
gem, in his way, of purest ray serene. He is a merchant of penny scarf
and finger rings.
"Now," says he, elevating a scarf ring on one finger and a wedding ring
on another, in sight of the wondering crowd, "hif hi was to tell you
good people that these beuty-_fool_ rings wor pure goold, vot vould
you say? Vy, you vould say, in the most hexitibel and hunmistakabel
langvidge has could come from your blessed traps, 'ee his a harrant
himposter.
"Could hi blame yer for hexpressing yer feelinks in sich langvidge? No.
Hi vould say to my disturbed conscience, has was at that very moment
a tearing my hinsides to pieces, 'you, Villiam Bowsley, have forsaken
the good karraktir has was 'anded down to yer by hancestors who 'ad
their hown hestates, 'osses, and kerridges; Villiam Bowsley, you 'ave
been han harrant himpostor, and deserves to be 'ung.' Vell, does I tell
ye that these ere rings is goold? No; on the contreery, I says they
are brass. Vell, may be ye don't care so much for brass harticles. Ham
hi a friend of brass? No, agin. But I ham a friend of Hart. I asks ye
to look at this ere image of Mr. Glads_tun_, as is now hour blessed
Pri-_meer_. Wos hever anything so beau-ty-fool? Look at the insinivatin
smile on 'is sveet feetyures. Ven I last dined vith Mr. Glads_tun_--ye
needn't laff, cos ye knows, perhaps, the story in the Good Book of the
bad children 'oo chaffed the old Profits and wus heat hup by bares--ven
I last dined vith Glads_tun_, hour blessed Pri-_meer_, he says,
'Bill'--he calls me 'Bill' ven 'ee his friendly--'Bill, them pictures
on them ere kam-e-o-s as you sells is my likeness just like twins. Cos,
vy,' said he, 'my maiden haunt reckignized them, and fainted avay ven
she seed vun.'"
Passing along a few feet I am attracted by the noise of a loud, rough
voice, that is shouting over the thickly packed heads of another crowd:
"Step hup gentlemen and take a look hat the noble hart of Self-Defence
has his practised in the Royal Tent. This vay gentlemen, honly tuppens.
Brisket Bill and the 'Ackney Vick Cove is a goin' to set-too. Step hup."
[Sidenote: THE BOXING TENT.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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