Pamphlets and Parodies on Political SubjectsHone, William
General
Pamphlets and Parodies on Political Subjects
Hone, William
Political satire, English
Another considered that Lord Le Cuisinier's suggestion ought not to be
entertained for a moment. We only exist in our formalities. If we suffer
ourselves to be put a stop to by the motion, we may find that we are
travelling round again into the obsolete usages of our early ancestors;
which will be to describe a circle that must be generally considered
as nothing less than a revolution! I therefore deprecate the least
innovation, and move, as an amendment, that 4 o'Clock is _not_ arrived.
The {077}Master General of the _Black_ Barracks at Exeter, rose without
his wig, and declaring, upon the memory of his whiskers, that he had
just heard it strike 4, he enquired whether the Clock was in _Order.
(Loud and continued cries of hear hear.)_
The Home DOCTOR felt his pulse alarmingly quicken one and a fraction in
the minute, and nervously said, that the clock was clearly guilty of a
barefaced libel and ought to be instantly held to bail for breach of the
peace. The simultaneous action of all the Clocks throughout the nation
and their open communication by circulars, was an index to the existence
of an organized correspondence and a systematic affiliation. He trembled
at the positive intelligence he had received, that millions at that
moment held their hands in an attitude ready to strike; but it was the
proudest day of his life that he had so far succeeded by a _circular_
movement of his own, as to enable his workmen to hold them to the peace
for an hour together.
Lord Bathos assured the Black-Barrack Master-General that the Clock
_was_ out of Order, and he congratulated the Home Doctor on his
efficiency; but he thought they had not sunk low enough into the
subject; for he had strong doubts whether the striking might not be
construed into an overt act of High Treason, and if he saw any
probability of being supported he should conclude with a substantive
motion. Did not the Lord Precedent remember a Clock Case, in which,
immediately after the chain had been locked up, a principal link
suddenly disappeared? and whether, after the most minute inquiry, there
was not every reason to believe from the best information that could be
obtained at that time, {078}that that link had been _prigged? (Hear
hear.)_ Take even the very last Clock Case, where the chain was kept
together with the greatest pains, and the utmost care. If the smallest
link in that chain had been _prigged_, it would have been fatal to the
works, and yet in that very case, two days after the chain was locked
up, a link was obtained, which, if sooner discovered, would have
lengthened the chain to the necessary extent, and brought home in the
most conclusive manner the guilt of the Clock. He therefore moved that
the Clock be examined, and the chain kept in their own custody, with
liberty to add to the number of links.
Lord Ratstail with his usual animation seconded the Motion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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