Pamphlets and Parodies on Political SubjectsHone, William
General
Pamphlets and Parodies on Political Subjects
Hone, William
Political satire, English
These are most pernicious animals. They borough, and prey on our food,
drink, clothing, furniture, live-stock, and every convenience of life;
furnishing their residences with the plunder of our property. They have
particular haunts, to which they entice each other in large numbers,
for the sake of _prey_; where they often do incredible damage to our
_mounds_, and undermine the strongest _embankments_. Sometimes they
hoard their plunder in _nests_, that they make at a distance from their
usual _places of congregating. * They are very bold and fierce. Instead
of waiting for an attack, they usually become the aggressors, and,
_seizing their adversaries by the lips_, inflict dangerous, and even
deadly wounds. While they subsist on our industry, and increase our
terrors, they make no grateful returns, and, therefore, mankind have
studied various ways for diminishing their numbers; but their _cunning_
discovers the most distant danger, and if any are disturbed or attacked,
in an unusual manner, the rest take the alarm, and, becoming exceedingly
shy, and wary, elude the most ingenious devices of their pursuers. When,
unhappily, you come in contact with one of these _vermin_, the best way
of dispatching it is by a single squeeze; but novices who hesitate,
are sure to prove sufferers. They have been found on a bench, so
_interwoven_ by their tails, that _by reason of their entanglement, they
could not part. ** A dead rat, _by altering the look of his head and
the appearance of his skin_, may be transformed into the appearance of
a much more _powerful_ animal; and this, Ladies and Gentlemen, _has been
considered a master piece in cheating._***
* White's Selborne, 4to. 75.
** Letters from Bodleian Library, i. 12.
*** Ibid.ii. 160, note. See also Goldsmith, iii. 169.
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[Illustration: 110]
A CADGE ANCHOR.--(a Remora--a sucking Fish.)
What have we here? a man or a fish? A Fish: he _smells_ like a fish
; a very _ancient_ and fish-like smell; a kind of, not of the newest,
Poor John. Were I in England now (as once I was) and had but this fish
painted, not a holiday fool there but would give a piece of silver:
_there_ would this monster make a man; any _strange beast_ there makes
a man. His gabbling voice is to utter foul speeches, and to detract. He
is as disproportioned in his manners, as in his shape. As with age his
body grows uglier, his mind cankers.
* Caliban.
{103}
[Illustration: 111]
A WATER SCORPION.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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