Diary.--April 1st. I grew _melancholy_.--My father lying sick, told me, in syllables, the _Philosopher's stone_.--It pleased God to put me in mind that I was now placed in the condition I always desired.--I hung three spiders about my neck (_for a charm_).--I kissed the king's hand.--_Cotera desunt._--Elias Ashmole's Diary. . {107} [Illustration: 115] THE BOOBY. Ladies and Gentlemen, The _Creature_ you now see is a sort of _Noddy_ of the Gull kind. Observe his uncouth form and his ludicrously wise looks! He is the most stupid of the _feathered_ tribe; yet he has a _voracious_ appetite, and an enormous swallow. You perceive that he feigns the appearance of being _upright_, of seeming to comprehend objects he sees, of listening to what he hears, and that he shakes his head with _gravity_, as though he had a certain degree of understanding. His greatest pleasure is in _standing still._ He has not sense enough to _get out of People's way_ ; speaking to him or making _motions_ never disturb him. There is no compelling him to the fatigue of _changing_ his position till he feels a _blow_; for he keeps his place till he is approached quite close, and _knocked down_. He is a living _full stop_. When he is _forced to walk_, which is very seldom, he goes from _side to side_. Like others of similar tribes, he boroughs. In this respect the union and affection of these _Creatures_ towards each other is wonderful; for, when undisturbed by the encroachments of _men_, they construct their _nests_ as convenient as if they expected them to be _permanent_; arranging their different places with such an amazing degree of uniformity, as to resemble a _regular plantation_. Sometimes they draw up side by side, in rank and file, and sit brooding together as if in deep counsel, on affairs of moment--their _silliness_ and _solemnity_ exciting involuntary _laughter!_ This _burlesque_ takes place, in particular, about {108}the month of _November_. The habits of these tribes are known through those who visit the haunts they have forsaken for more obscure _retreats_, where they can _build aloft_, and settle in their _nests_ at ease: a practice which confirms the remark of a great naturalist, that the presence of _men_ not only destroys the society of the _meaner_ animals, but even extinguishes their _grovelling_ instincts. Hitherto the Booby has been considered of no service whatever; yet a similar species, * by drawing a wick through the body and lighting it, is made into a _candle_S. ** If this Booby could be thus used, the _illumination of_ both Houses and the public offices might be speedily effected, and the tribe he belongs to be rendered available to human purposes. At any rate a skilful tallow-chandler might try his hand at converting the _Creature_ into A TWOPENNY FLAT [Illustration: 116] {109} [Illustration: 117] THE SLOP PAIL. Ladies and Gentlemen,