Fantasy fiction; Utopian fiction; Utopias -- Fiction
The next day the doctor spent a full hour at Mrs. Buzzell’s talking to
Clara of Frauenstein and his grand social-palace scheme. Clara expressed
regret that she had not seen him. “Regret!” said the doctor; “you may
well regret, for you have lost a rare pleasure. When you see him you
will love him, and at first sight too. I am sure of it, for he is the
only man I ever met whom I thought worthy of you. He is coming back,
though, and then you shall see him. He’s a man after my own heart in
everything. He’s perfect; he’s without a flaw. I know him just as well
as if I had been intimate with him for years. Every thought and feeling
of the man is honest and true, and what is better than all, he has faith
in human nature.” Clara was interested, but the count was no vital part
of her thoughts as he was of her father’s, and besides her heart was
filled that day with its old pain. Albert had written, saying simply
that, as a year had passed, he thought he had a right to expect she
would have had time to reflect upon their mutual position, and that he
hoped she had decided to return. It was a very cold letter, but it moved
her deeply, and under the first impulse she wrote, sinking every thought
of pride, hoping only, blindly, that he would, by an impulse as simple,
and as frankly expressed as hers, prove that he loved her despite all
that had happened. She wrote:
“DEAR ALBERT:—Your letter moves me deeply, but it does not show me that
you have any tender thought of me, any motive of real love in saying you
expect me to return. Do you know so little of me after all, as to
suppose that I can be influenced by the wealth you speak of? Can you
doubt that I would rather be your wife were you poor and unknown, if you
only loved me as once you did, than to be your queen were you master of
the world, if I must see you seek in other women that which I alone
would give?
“Oh, Albert! why can I never make you see me as I am? I have no pride,
as you think; willingly would I prove myself the very queen of fools in
the eyes of the world—would kneel in the dust and kiss your feet, could
I thereby find that you love me with the divine tenderness that once
made my life. Dear one, what shall I say? What shall I do? I long, with
all my being, for the tender words you used to breathe so eloquently,
for the sight of your beautiful eyes, for your kisses and caresses. If
you do really want me—me, not your legal mate, but Clara—you will show
me this beyond the shadow of a doubt.
“I cannot tell you how I have suffered, and do suffer still, at times. I
pray only that I may wake from this long cold night of misery, and find
myself in the blessed warmth and light of that love which made me once
your proud and happy
CLARA.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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