Frontier and pioneer life -- West (U.S.) -- Fiction; Short stories; West (U.S.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Western stories
"The second was the Gold-Belt dance-hall, with the kid cavorting
through a drunken orgy of painted ladies, like a bull in a pansy
patch. But the other--it took my breath away till I felt I was on
smooth ice, with cracks showing. It was the inside of a cabin, after
a big 'pot-latch,' displaying a table littered up with fizz bottles
and dishes galore. Diamond Tooth Lou stood on a chair, waving kisses
and spilling booze from a mug. In the centre stood Morrow with
another girl, nestling agin his boosum most horrible lovin'. Gee!
It was a home splitter and it left me sparring for wind. The whole
thing exhaled an air of debauchery that would make a wooden Indian
blush. No one thing in particular; just the general local colour of
a thousand-dollar bender.
"'Charming, isn't it?' she sneered.
"'I don't savvy the burro. There's something phony about it. I can
explain the other two, but this one--.' Then it come to me in a
flash. The man's face was perfect, but he wore knickerbockers! Now,
to my personal knowledge, the only being that ever invaded Rampart
City in them things was R. Alonzo Struthers.
"'There's secrets of the dark-room that I ain't wise to,' says I,
'but I feel that this is going to be a bad night for the newspaper
enterprise of 'Frisco if it don't explain. I'll fetch the man that
busted your Larrys and Peanuts.'
"'Our what?' says she.
"'Larrys and Peanuts--that's Roman. The kid told me all about 'em.
They're sort of little cheap gods!'
"'Will you ever go?' she snapped. 'I don't need your help. Tell him
I hate him!' She stamped her foot, and the iron come into her again
till the pride of all Kentucky blazed in her eyes.
"She couldn't understand my explanations no more than I could, so I
ducked. As I backed out the door, though, I seen her crumple up and
settle all of a heap on the floor. She certainly did hate that man
scandalous.
"I'm glad some editors work nights. Struthers wasn't overjoyed at my
call, particular, as I strayed in with two janitors dangling from me.
They said he was busy and couldn't be interrupted, and they seemed to
insist on it.'
"'It's a bully night,' says I, by way of epigram, unhooking the pair
of bouncers. "'You wouldn't like me to take you ridin' perhaps?'
"'Are you drunk, or crazy?' says he. 'What do you mean by breaking
into my office? I can't talk to you; we're just going to press.'
"'I'd like to stay and watch it,' says I, 'but I've got a news item
for you.' At the same time I draws my skinner and lays it on the
back of his neck, tempting. Steel, in the lamp-light, is
discouraging to some temperaments. One of the body-guards was took
with urgent business, and left a streamer of funny noises behind him,
while the other gave autumn-leaf imitations in the corner. Struthers
looked like a dose of seasickness on a sour stomach.
"Get your hat. Quick!' I jobbed him, gentle and encouraging.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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