Frontier and pioneer life -- West (U.S.) -- Fiction; Short stories; West (U.S.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Western stories
"I've had them both, acute and continuous, since I was old enough
to know my own mind and the taste of tobacco; I hold them mainly
responsible for my present condition." He mournfully viewed his
fever-ridden frame which sprawled a pitiful six-feet-two from the
heels of his gum-boots to the grizzled hair beneath his white Stetson.
"The first and most rabid," he continued, "is horse-racing--and
t'other is the mining fever, which last is a heap insidiouser in its
action and more lingering in its effect.
"It wasn't long after that deal in the Territory that I felt the
symptoms coming on agin, and this time they pinted most emphatic
toward prospecting, so me and 'Kink' Martin loaded our kit onto the
burros and hit West.
"Kink was a terrible good prospector, though all-fired unlucky and
peculiar. Most people called him crazy, 'cause he had fits of goin'
for days without a peep.
"Hosstyle and ornery to the whole world; sort of bulging out and
exploding with silence, as it were.
"We'd been out in the hills for a week on our first trip before he
got one of them death-watch faces on him, and boycotted the English
langwidge. I stood for it three days, trying to jolly a grin on to
him or rattle a word loose, but he just wouldn't jolt.
"One night we packed into camp tired, hungry, and dying for a good
feed.
"I hustled around and produced a supper fit for old Mr. Eppycure.
Knowing that Kink had a weakness for strong coffee that was simply a
hinge in him, I pounded up about a quart of coffee beans in the
corner of a blanket and boiled out a South American liquid that was
nothing but the real Arbuckle mud.
"This wasn't no chafing-dish party either, because the wood was wet
and the smoke chased me round the fire. Then it blazed up in spurts
and fired the bacon-grease, so that when I grabbed the skillet the
handle sizzled the life all out of my callouses. I kicked the fire
down to a nice bed of coals and then the coffee-pot upset and put it
out. Ashes got into the bacon, and--Oh! you know how joyful it is to
cook on a green fire when you're dead tired and your hoodoo's on
vicious.
"When the 'scoffings' were finally ready, I wasn't in what you might
exactly call a mollyfying and tactful mood nor exuding genialness and
enthusiasms anyways noticeable."
"I herded the best in camp towards him, watching for a benevolent
symptom, but he just dogged it in silence and never changed a hair.
That was the limit, so I inquired sort of ominous and gentle, 'Is
that coffee strong enough for ye, Mr. Martin?'
"He give a little impecunious grunt, implying, 'Oh! it'll do,' and
with that I seen little green specks begin to buck and wing in front
of my eyes; reaching back of me, I grabbed the Winchester and throwed
it down on him.
"'Now, you laugh, darn you,' I says, 'in a hurry. Just turn it out
gleeful and infractious.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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