Parents and childrenMason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Philosophy
Parents and children
Mason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Child rearing; Education -- Parent participation
We are not advising any Spartan regimen. It is not permitted to us to
inflict hardness in order that the children may learn to endure. Our
care is simply to direct their consciousness from their own sensations.
The well-known anecdote of the man, who, before the days of chloroform,
had his leg cut off without any conscious sensations of pain, because
he determinately kept his mind occupied with other things, is an
extreme but instructive instance of what may be done in this direction.
At the same time, though the child himself be taught to disregard them,
his sensations should be carefully watched by his elders, for they
must consider and act upon the danger signals which the child himself
must be taught to disregard. But it is usually possible to attend to a
child’s sensations without letting him know they have been observed.
This, of the sensations, is only one example of the altruistic or
egoistic direction which the various operations of a child’s complex
nature may receive. His affections, again, are capable of receiving a
subjective or objective direction, according to the suggestions which
reach him from without. Every child comes into the world richly endowed
with a well of love, a fountain of justice; but whether the stream of
love shall flow to the right or the left, whether it shall be egoistic
or altruistic, depends on the child’s earliest training. A child who
is taught from the first the delights of giving and sharing, of loving
and bearing, will always spend himself freely on others, will love
and serve, seeking for nothing again; but the child who recognises
that he is the object of constant attention, consideration, love and
service, becomes self-regardful, self-seeking, selfish, almost without
his fault, so strongly is he influenced by the direction his thoughts
receive from those about him. So, too, of that other fountain, of
justice, with which every child is born. There again, the stream may
flow forth in either, but not in both, of the channels, the egoistic or
the altruistic. The child’s demand for justice may be all for himself,
or, from the very first, the rights of others may be kept before his
eyes. He may be taught to occupy himself with _his own rights and
other people’s duties_, and, if he is, his state of mind is easily
discernible by the catch-words often on his lips, “It’s a shame!” “It’s
not fair!” or he may, on the other hand, be so filled with the notion
of _his own duties and other people’s rights_, that the claims of
self slip quietly into the background. This kind cometh forth only by
prayer, but it is well to clear our thoughts and know definitely what
we desire for our children, because only so can we work intelligently
towards the fulfilment of our desire. It is sad to pray, and frustrate
the answer by our own action; but this is, alas, too possible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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