Parents and childrenMason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Philosophy
Parents and children
Mason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Child rearing; Education -- Parent participation
Perhaps parents are less fully awake to the importance of regulating a
child’s sensations. We still kiss the place to make it well, make an
_obvious_ fuss if a string is uncomfortable or a crumpled rose-leaf
is irritating the child’s tender skin. We have forgotten the seven
Christian virtues and the seven deadly sins of earlier ages, and do
not much consider in the bringing up of our children whether the grace
of fortitude is developing under our training. Now fortitude has its
higher and its lower offices. It concerns itself with things of the
mind and with things of the body, and, perhaps, it is safe to argue
that fortitude on the higher plane is only possible when it has become
the habit of the nature on the lower plane. A baby may be trained in
fortitude, and is much the happier for such training. A child should be
taught that it is beneath him to take any notice of cold or heat, pain
or discomfort. We do not perceive the sensations to which we do not
attend, and it is quite possible to forget even a bad toothache in some
new and vivid interest. Health and happiness depend largely upon the
disregard of sensations, and the child who is encouraged to say, “I’m
so cold,” “I’m so tired,” “My vest pricks me,” and so on, is likely to
develop into the hysterical girl or the hypochondriac man; for it is an
immutable law that, as with our appetites, so with our sensations, in
proportion as we attend to them will they dominate us, until a single
sensation of slight pain or discomfort may occupy our whole field of
vision, making us unaware that there is any joy in living, any beauty
in the earth.
But these are the least of the reasons why a child should be trained
to put up with little discomforts and take no notice. The child, who
has been allowed to become self-regardful in the matter of sensations,
as of appetites, has lost his child’s estate, he is no longer humble;
he is in the condition of thinking about himself, instead of that
infinitely blessed condition of not being aware of himself at all. Nor
must we permit ourselves to make an exception to this rule in the case
of the poor little invalid. For him, far more than for the healthy
child, it is important that he should be trained to take no account of
his sensations; and many a brave little hero suffers anguish without
conscious thought, and therefore, of course, suffers infinitely less
than if he had been induced to dwell upon his pains. We say, induced,
because though a child may cry with sudden distress, he does not really
think about his aches and pains unless his thoughts be turned to his
ailments by those about him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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