"Life is long, and youth is fleeting, And our hearts are light and gay; Still like pleasant drums are beating Wedding marches all the day. "In the world's broad field of battle, In the bivouac of life, Be not like dumb-driven cattle! Be a heroine--a wife! "Trust no future, howe'er pleasant; Let the dead past bury its dead; Act--act in the living present, Hoping for a spouse ahead. "Lives of married folk remind us We can live our lives as well, And departing leave behind us Such examples as will 'tell'; "Such examples that another, Wasting time in idle sport, A forlorn, unmarried brother, Seeing shall take heart and court. "Let us, then, be up and doing, With a heart on triumph set; Still contriving, still pursuing, And each one a husband get." * * * * * ON CAMPBELL'S "_Lives of the Chancellors_." Lives of great men misinform us Campbell's _Lives_ in this sublime, Errors frightfully enormous, _Misprints_ on the sands of time. The interest which is taken in this collection by many of the subscribers is shewn by their kind permission to quote Parodies from their works; by the information they have sent as to out-of-the-way books in which others may be found; and, further, by their contribution of original Parodies. The author of the following introduction to this series, is well known for his charming pathetic poems. From the first he has rendered most valuable assistance; having formed a large collection of Parodies, he has kindly placed them at the Editor's disposal, and they will be inserted under the respective authors to whom they apply. THE MONTHLY PARODIES. AN APOLOGY. _After William Morris's "Earthly Paradise."_ (_Written expressly for this collection._) Of Love or War this is no hour to sing, But I may ease the burden of your fears (Lest you think death to mirth is happening), And quote from wit of past and present years, Till o'er these pages you forget your tears, And smile again, as presently you say Some idle jingle--or forgotten lay. But when a-weary of the hunt for mirth Thro' comic journals with a doleful sigh You feel unkindly unto all the earth, And grudge the pennies that they cost to buy These "weakly comics," lingering like to die, Remember, then, a little while, I pray, The clever singers of a former day. The pomp and power and grand majestic air That marches thro' their poems' stately tread, These idle verses may catch unaware, And by burlesque call back remembered Some rhymes "that living not can ne'er be dead," Though what is meant by that I cannot say-- But Mr. Morris wrote it one fine day.