I should answer, I should tell you Shut your mouth and go to David, David, Mr. Punch's neighbour, Buy the Song of Hiawatha. Read and learn, and then be thankful Unto Punch and Henry Wadsworth, Punch and noble Henry Wadsworth. Truer poet, better fellow, Than to be annoyed at jesting From his friend, great Punch, who loves him. * * * * * The following is a list of the names of some famous advertisers of thirty years ago, taken from _Hiawater_, a parody contained in "The Shilling Book of Beauty," by Cuthbert Bede (J. Blackwood, 1853):-- "Howlawaya, the quack doctor; Mosieson, the cheap slop seller; Mechisteel and Warrenblacking; Camomile, the Pillofnorton; Marywedlake, oaten bruiser; Doctorjong, the great cod liver; Revalenta, the Dubarrie, Rowlandskalidore, and Trotman's Doubledupperambulator." Another scarce parody on the same original was entitled _Milk-and-Watha_, and an amusing skit was also contained in Gilbert's libretto to _Princess Toto_. There is also a parody in Edmund Yates's _Our Miscellany_ (G. Routledge and Co., 1857), and "Revenge, a Rhythmic Recollection," appeared in _Tom Hood's Comic Annual_, 1877. * * * * * SHORTFELLOW SUMS UP LONGFELLOW. Miles Standish, old Puritan soldier, courts gal Priscilla by proxy; Gal likes the proxy the best, so Miles, in a rage, takes and hooks it. Folks think he's killed, but he ain't, and comes back, as a friend, to the wedding, If you call this ink-Standish stuff poetry, _Punch_ will soon reel you off Miles. _Shirley Brooks_ on "The Courtship of Miles Standish." * * * * * THE WAGNER FESTIVAL. (_By an admirer of Longfellow's "Evangeline," who sorrowfully sat through the six concerts._) This is the music primeval. The festival singers from Bayreuth, Solemn and stern, with their shirt fronts studded, and swallow-tailed garments, Stand like Druids of old, with voices sad and prophetic, Stand like harpers hoar, with beards that rest on their bosoms, Loud from its ligneous caverns, the deep-voiced neighbouring organ Moans, and in accents disconsolate answers the orchestra wailing. This is the music primeval, and when it is ended, Herr Wagner Is called to the front, and is crowned with a wreath by the Madame Materna; Then there is hugging and kissing and weeping with Wagner Wilhelmj, And Richter, to whom is presented a bâton--brand new, silver-mounted; But where are the beautiful maidens who solemnly sat in the boxes? Where are the men--tawny swells--who talked of clubs, races, or billiards, Silenced from time unto time by thunders and earthquakes orchestral? Empty are boxes and stalls, the occupants all have departed, And the critic goes--glad to survive the music primeval of Wagner. _Funny Folks._