The honeysuckle round the porch is white with sleety showers, And, though they call it the month of May, the hawthorn has no flowers; And the ice in patches may yet be found in swamps and hollows gray,-- Ain't it nice for the Queen o' the May, mother, so nice for the Queen o' the May? The East wind blows and blows, mother, on my nose I follow suit, For my influenza's so very bad, and I've got a cough to boot; Perhaps it will rain and sleet, mother, the whole of the livelong day, Yet, I'm to be Queen o' the May, mother; I must be Queen o' the May. I've not the slightest doubt, mother, I shall come home very ill, And then there'll be bed for a week or more, and a long, long, doctor's bill; And with prices up and wages down however will father pay? But I'm to be Queen o' the May, mother--oh bother the Queen o' the May! So please wake and call me early, call me early, mother dear, That I may look out some winter wraps, fit for the spring this year. To-morrow of this bitter "snap," I'm sure 'twill be the bitterest day, For I'm to be Queen o' the May, mother, I'm to be Queen o' the May." _Punch_, May 12, 1877. * * * * * Truth had a long parody describing the visit in 1877 of Dom Pedro, Emperor of Brazil, whose early rising, and insatiable appetite for sight-seeing were the topics of conversation. Two verses are sufficient to indicate the style:-- THE SIGHT-SEEING EMPEROR. IF you're waking, call me early, "Boots," not later, please, than four, And if you're passing earlier, pray rat-tat at my door; But stay I have so much to do, that p'rhaps 'twill better be, Not to depend on you at all, but call myself at three. * * * * * I cannot, though an Emperor, stay quietly at home, Some impulse irresistibly makes me for ever roam; Each week it holds me tighter still beneath its mystic thrall, Till soon I am afraid I shall not eat or sleep at all. _Truth_, June 21, 1877. Another parody of the same original, called _The Business of Pleasure_, appeared in _Truth_, May 9, 1878. * * * * * THE PENGE MYSTERY TRIAL. YOU must come and dress me early, very early, Simmons, mind! For to-morrow'll be the summing-up, and I must not be behind; Of all this jolly trial, I'm told, to-morrow'll be _the_ day, So be sure you call me early, Simmons; now attend to what I say! * * * * * The judge means hanging, so they say, and when the sentence's pass'd, There's sure to be an awful scene, more curious than the last; P'raps the men will have hysterics--_that_ would be fun to see! And Alice Rhodes may have a fit. Oh! how jolly it will be!