There's many a hot, hot man, they say, but none so hot as me; There's Middlethwaite and Muggins, there's Kane and Kersetjee; But none so good as little Jones in all the lot, they say, So I'm to be first in the May, Filcher, I'm to be first in the May! I read so hard at night, Filcher, that I shall never rise, If you do not take a wettish sponge and dab it in my eyes: For I must prove the G.C.M., and substitute for _a_, For I'm to be first in the May, Filcher, I'm to be first in the May. As I came through the College Backs, whom think ye should I see But the Junior Dean upon the Bridge proceeding out to tea? He thought of that Ægrotat, Filcher, I pleaded yesterday,-- But I'm to be first in the May, Filcher, I'm to be first in the May. There are men that come and go, Filcher, who care not for a class, And their faces seem to brighten if they get a common pass; They never do a stitch of work the whole of the live-long day,-- But I'm to be first in the May, Filcher, I'm to be first in the May! All the College Hall, my Filcher, will be fresh and clean and still, And the tables will be dotted o'er with paper, ink, and quill; And some will do their papers quick, and run away to play,-- But I'm to be first in the May, Filcher, I'm to be first in the May! So you must wake and call me early, call me early, Filcher dear, To-morrow 'ill be a happy time for all the Freshman's year; For all the Freshman's year, Filcher, the most delightful day, For I shall be in for my May, Filcher, I shall be in for my May! * * * * * NEW-YEAR'S EVE. If you're waking call me early, call me early, Filcher dear, For I'll keep a morning Chapel upon my last New-year. My last New-year before I take my Bachelor's Degree, Then you may sell my crockery-ware, and think no more of me. To-night I bade good-bye to Smith: he went and left behind His good old rooms, those dear old rooms, where oft I sweetly dined; There's a new year coming up, Filcher, but I shall never see The Freshman's solid breakfast, or the Freshman's heavy tea. Last May we went to Newmarket: we had a festive day, With a decentish cold luncheon in a tidy one-horse-shay. With our lardy-dardy garments we were really "on the spot," And Charley Vain came out so grand in a tall white chimney-pot. There's not a man about the place but doleful Questionists; I only wish to live until the reading of the Lists. I wish the hard Examiners would melt and place me high; I long to be a Wrangler, but I'm sure I don't know why. Upon this battered table, and within these rooms of mine, In the early, early morning there'll be many a festive shine; And the Dean will come and comment on "this most unseemly noise," Saying, "Gentlemen, remember, pray, you're now no longer boys."