――――:o:―――― THE BILLS. (_An apology for which Punch is proud to owe to Edgar Poe._) I. See the ever-swelling bills―― Heavy bills! What a world of botherment SIR STAFFORD’S bosom fills! How they tumble, tumble, tumble In, to his extreme affright! While the nation ’gins to grumble At the wild financial jumble, To the Liberals’ delight. E’en the _Times_, _Times_, _Times_, Hints at economic crimes In the quick accumulation that the world with wonder fills, Of the bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, bills,―― The growing and o’erflowing of the bills. II. See the Military bills―― Bouncing bills! How their growth the CHANCELLOR’S optimism chills! For each little local fight, Afghan, Zulu, what a sight Of cash, in gold or notes, Must come soon! What triumphant mockery floats From the Radical, who capers while he gloats O’er the tune, The pretty tune to which The Nation, racked though rich, Will have to pay the piper from its coffers and its tills, For the bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, The ne’er ceasing increasing of the bills! III. See the long Imperial bills―― Bloated bills! How their swoln proportions hint of choking bolus pills For JOHN BULL, who, at the sight, Stares and stammers with affright! Too much horrified to reckon All the burdens piled his neck on By the lune, The mad hallucination which his fancy did inspire, The wild and weak ambition, which his foolish brain did fire, To soar higher, higher, higher, With a lunatic desire, And an imbecile endeavour Now, now to swell, or never, To Imperial plenilune! Oh the bills, bills, bills! What a tale their tottle fills! Hard to bear! How they mount to more and more! What a cold, cold _douche_ they pour On the folly of the frantic Jingo scare! Yet our pockets fully know, By the waxing Of the taxing, How they flow, and flow, and flow; Yet the ear that daily fills With the wrangling, And the jangling Of the rival Party quills, Knows how the Country chills, At the swelling beyond telling in the number of the bills―― Of the bills―― Of the bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, The mounting past all counting of the bills!