_Punch_, Oct. 25, 1879. ―――――――― BILLS. (SCENE.――Paterfamilias discovered in the act of looking through his morning’s letters.) I. Here’s the postman with his bills―― Christmas bills! What a world of coming trouble their very sight instils! How they worry, worry, worry, In their envelopes of blue! Whilst though I conceal my flurry, I am really in a hurry, To break open and review The long lines, lines, lines, Of fours and noughts, and nines, And the terrifying total――which, as it is, my heart so thrills―― Of the bills, bills, bills, bills, Bills, bills, bills―― Oh, the flurry and the worry of the bills! II. Here are two most lengthy bills―― Bonnet bills! What a world of foolish details, to be sure, their columns fills! Here are bonnets for all weathers, Trimm’d with birds, and flowers, and feathers’ Tulle diaphanous that floats―― Each new device! Gold-tipp’d grasses, silver oats, Birds have yielded up their plumage, beasts their coats,―― At a price, Which is down in Madame’s bills. (Three guineas! only fancy for a wreath of daffodils!) Why it chills, And it thrills, And a lesson new instils, Does the wicked waste that fills, And makes bigger every figure Of those shameful bonnet bills! Of the bills, bills, bills, bills, Bills, bills, bills―― These increasing and ne’er ceasing Bonnet bills! III. Here are more alarming bills―― Butcher’s bills! What a tale their total tells of the worst of household ills! How the figures seem to glare, And to tell one everywhere Of bones weighed out as meat, Of triumphant plans to cheat In their bills. In their bills, bills, bills, bills, Bills, bills, bills―― Change the prices and devices of their bills. IV.