Who thinks my head was made to hit? My hat a subject for his wit, Till laughing almost brings a fit! My Brother! Who makes me by the hour stand scout, But kicks me if I catch him out, Demanding what I am about? My Brother! Who goes financially to smash, And borrows all my hoarded cash, To purchase stamps, or some such trash? My Brother! Who makes me copy out his lines When he’s been kicking up his shines, And forces me to pay his fines? My Brother! Yes, spite of all the ties of birth, To him my woes cause only mirth;―― You are the biggest fraud on earth, My Brother! ――――:o:―――― AUDI ALTERAM PARTEM. _Tom’s Letter to the Editor._ Dick’s my small brother; that’s enough To show my lot is rather rough; Of one thing I get _quantum suff_, My Brother! Who’s always writing home to sneak? Who gives me endless kinds of cheek, Yet wants me to correct his Greek? My Brother! Who never at a game will play Unless you let him have his way, And bat at least ten times a day? My Brother! Who cannot stand the mildest snub? Who gets his double share of grub? And if you touch him starts to blub? My Brother! ’Tis sad to see one’s rackets “go”; ’Tis hard to slog and miss a slow; You’re worst! for you’re a constant woe, My Brother! _The Boy’s Own Paper_, Feb. 16, 1884. ――――:o:―――― SOME “CONFIDENCES” TO THE EDITOR. A “Sister” writes from Newcastle-upon-Tyne:――“Dear Mr. Editor,――In the March part of ‘B. O. P.’ occur two poems, ostensibly Dick’s and Tom’s Letter to yourself, anent the miseries which Tom inflicts upon Dick, and _vice versa_. Now, on perusal of the said poems, my small brother Harry discovered that some features of (to _him_, at least) absorbing interest had been omitted in their construction. ‘But _that_ fellow hasn’t got red hair,’ he exclaimed, indignantly, ‘or else _his_ brother would have bullied him about that, too.’ ‘Then since _you_ have,’ I mildly ventured, to hint, ’suppose you write a description of your woes, and we’ll send it to the Editor. While _I_ will have _my_ say about ‘brothers,’ for really I don’t see why girls shouldn’t have a voice in the matter, seeing that they often have not only to mend, at unreasonable times, the said brothers’ wearing apparel, but also to bear at all seasons with their growlings.’ “So, Mr. Editor, Harry and I send you our humble offerings, which you are at perfect liberty to make public, if you see fit, or to banish to the realms of the W. P. B. if you don’t. “Very truly yours, “HIS SISTER.”