――――:o:―――― MR. WILSON BARRETT (_producing MS._). As my collaborateur and friend is late, I think I will begin, at any rate. Our scene, then, Prince―――― [_Enter_ Mr. Henry Irving, _hurriedly_.] _Mr. H. Irving._ But what is this I see? This is not what we settled, Wilson B.? I was to read, you know―――― _Mr. W. B._ Yes, you are right, But in your absence, well, I thought I might At all events commence. _Mr. H. I._ (_bitterly_). Ha, ha! again, That eagerness advantage to obtain. Pardon me, Prince, if I, to check emotion, Carol a strain I made up on the ocean:―― WHO first in melodrama played, And then, when he a name had made, Like me, Shakespearean parts essayed? My Barrett! Who copied me in sundry ways, And jealous of my early bays, Got Wills to write him blank-verse plays? My Barrett! Who, when I Romeo’s part had done, Vowed he would play a younger one, And so came out with Chatterton? My Barrett! Whose breast with such ambition burned, That he the whole of “Hamlet” learned, And played it when my back was turned? My Barrett! And who, if I do not take care, Will my dramatic sceptre share; Nay, perhaps to rival me will dare? My Barrett! _Truth, Christmas Number_, 1884. ――――:o:―――― MY BANKER. Who puts my money in his till, And when in difficulties will Employ it to take up a Bill? My Banker. Who cuts a very pretty dash By spending other people’s cash, And ends with a tremendous smash? My Banker. Who has a pleasant country seat, With park and grounds and all complete, And is a thorough going cheat? My Banker. Who goes to Church and says his prayers, And gives himself religious airs, And pawns my bonds and sells my shares? My Banker. Who, when convinced his house must go, Hints to a friend to let him know, ’Tis well to keep his balance low? My Banker. Who lives in most _recherché_ style, And wears the very blandest smile, Though he’s insolvent all the while? My Banker. Who may a lesson yet be taught, And find himself some morning brought Before the Central Criminal Court? My Banker. _Punch_, June 30, 1855. ――――:o:―――― MY BROKER. Who leads me on to fields Elysian, Where golden prospects, greet my vision, And charges but a small commission? My Broker.