Who, while I trudge through muddy ways, Rides (for that small commission pays) Behind a handsome pair of bays? My Broker. Who, sitting at Pactolus’ fount, Buys, sells, or holds for “next account,” Charging, of course, a _small_ amount? My Broker. Whose tone is soft, whose manner bland; Who, lightly holding by my hand, Talks figures I don’t understand? My Broker. When panics come, who seems to wear A calm, serene, superior air, As if it wasn’t _his_ affair? My Broker. Whose villa’s somewhere in the West; Whose wife’s in silk and sealskin drest; Whose wines and weeds are of the best? My Broker’s. Whose waist expands; who still can sport A face of roundest, ruddiest sort, Through drinking forty-seven port? My Broker. Whom did I look on as my friend, Till he those “Turks” would recommend, Yet knew the inevitable end? My Broker. _Punch_, October 23, 1875. ―――――――― AUDI ALTERAM PARTEM. Dear Mr. Punch,――Although a Broker myself, I heartily enjoyed your lines this week, which are true of here and there a case in our calling, though about as applicable to the great body of Brokers as those I enclose are to the generality of Clients. The portrait I have sketched is, however, drawn from nature, and by no means libels a constantly increasing class, whose little game is “Heads, I win: tails, you lose.” Your highly-tickled reader, FAIR PLAY. Throgmorton Street, Oct. 29. MY CLIENT. WHO hangs about the Courts all day, And deals in a most reckless way, With every Broker who will stay? My Client! Who talks a guttural foreign lingo, And, whilst he wins, still lets the thing go, Until a panic comes? By jingo! My Client! Who dabbles in a hundred “specs,” His Broker’s hazards little recks, And chuckles as he takes large cheques? My Client! Who, when his ventures, “bear”-hugged, quake, Commissions, quick, a double stake, Vowing the thing all right to make? My Client! Who, when the threatened crash has come, And he owes me a stiffish sum, Fails to turn up――and leaves me glum? My Client! Who, for his “little games” out-lawed, His pockets filled with fruits of fraud, Coolly retires, and lives abroad? My Client! ――――:o:―――― ALTER ET IDEM. (_From Broker No._ 2).