ANONYMOUS. ――――:o:―――― SEASONABLE SOLILOQUY. To Bee, or not to Bee, that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous spelling, Or to take arms ’gainst orthographic troubles, And, by the Dictionary, end them! ――――:o:―――― A PUGILISTIC SOLILOQUY. To box, or not to box? That is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The stings and arrows of outrageous passions, Or to take heart, like Humphreys and Mendoza, And, by opposing, end them. To strip, to bare, No more! and by this movement, say we end The heart-ache, and a thousand galling jeers The passive’s heir to;――’tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish’d. To strip――to square―― To fight;――perchance be beat:――aye, there’s the rub! For by that daring step, what blows may come, When we have shuffled off our coats and shirts, Must give us pause. There’s the respect, That makes this diffidence of so long life; For who would bear the taunts and sneers o’ the mob, The pangs of being unknown, and fame’s delay, The porter’s wrongs, the coal heaver’s contumely The ins’lence of profession, and the spurns That patient merit of the pug’list takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a well-planted blow? Who’d reproaches bear, To fret and fume beneath a doubtful state, But that a dread of something _on the Stage_, (The undetermin’d trial, from whose bourne Earle ne’er returned,) puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have, Than fly to others that we know not of. This fear of drubbing makes us cowards all; And thus the wish of native resolution Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of fear, And the skill’d manœuvres in each well-graced ring, With this respect their profits turn away, And lose the fame of boxing. ANONYMOUS. ――――:o:―――― The Electors of Barrhead, by 570 to 317, have gone against erecting their town into a Burgh. Coatbridge, with a population of 20,000 or 30,000, is also agitating on this subject. Saltcotians are meantime deeply interested in the question――and the struggle between the burgh and anti-burgh party, as must always be the case when the powers of dirt and darkness, and light and cleanliness, come into collision with each other, promises to be a keen one. According to a native residing in Glasgow, “Insider” ruminates and thus soliloquises:―― “INSIDER’S” SOLILOQUY. (_With apologies to the shade of Shakespeare._)