Burgh, or No-Burgh――that’s the question:―― Whether ’tis nobler in the town to suffer The gibes and scorn of all who visit it; Or to become a Burgh, and so end, Once and for ever end them?――Being then A Burgh, it will end its dirt and darkness, Ruin and danger.――’Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To be a Burgh! Perchance to pay a tax;――ay, there’s the rub; For in that tax what shillings we may pay, When we have wakened from our old-world sleep, Must give us pause; there’s the respect That makes our slothfulness of so long life: For who would bear to walk, with fear and care, Adown the ruined Quay, or try to gain, O’er heaps of broken walls, the sandy shore; Or pick his steps in the dim-lighted streets, Through muddy holes and ancient filthiness, When he himself his safety might ensure By voting for the Burgh? Who would bear To see his native town a laughing stock; But that the thought of something afterwards―― The dread of Burgh taxes, which may grow Greater each year――puzzles the will; And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of; Thus does our greediness become our bane; And thus, to save our purses, we oppose The Burgh movement; for we fondly hope To dupe the working men, and frighten all Who love their purses better than their health, And lapse into our old inaction. _The Ardrossan and Saltcoats Herald_, February, 1884. ――――:o:―――― THE WEEKLY DISPATCH PARODY COMPETITION, NO. 197. The prize of two guineas for the best original parody of Hamlet’s soliloquy, with reference to the Suez Canal question, was awarded to Mr. Jesse H. Wheeler, 96, Gore Road, Victoria Park, for the following:―― GLADSTONE’S SOLILOQUY.