Splash, splash, splash! From morn to even-time, Splash, splash, splash! Through garbage, filth and grime. Stenches strong in the street, Streets with stenches strong, As over the flags I gingerly creep, I wonder to whom they belong. Oh! but to breathe the breath Of the man far away in the rear, But I’m forced to hold my nose, For I must with such odours near. Oh! but for one short hour An appetite good to feel! I formerly used my dinner to want, But a walk now costs a meal. With boots all dirty and worn, And trousers heavy with mud, A Londoner trudged on a market-day With a footfall’s dreary thud. Splash, splash, splash! While garbage may spatter and spirt, And still with a voice of dolorous pitch―― Would that its cry could reach the rich―― He sang “_The Song of the Dirt_.” _Punch_, August 23, 1884. [Illustration] I REMEMBER, I REMEMBER. I remember, I remember, The house where I was wed, And the little room from which that night My smiling bride was led; She didn’t come a wink too soon, Nor make too long a stay; But now I often wish her folks Had kept the girl away! I remember, I remember, Her dresses, red and white, Her bonnets and her caps and cloaks,―― They cost an awful sight! The “corner lot” on which I built, And where my brother met At first my wife, one washing-day,―― That man is single yet! I remember, I remember, Where I was used to court, And thought that all of married life Was just such pleasant sport:―― My spirit flew in feathers then, No care was on my brow; I scarce could wait to shut the gate,―― I’m not so anxious now! I remember, I remember, My dear one’s smile and sigh; I used to think her tender heart Was close against the sky; It was a childish ignorance, But now it soothes me not To know I’m farther off from Heaven Than when she wasn’t got! _Poems and Parodies_, by Phœbe Carey, Boston, United States, 1854. ―――――――― The first number of _Truth_, which appeared January 4, 1877, contained a long parody, signed by Thomas Hood. This, of course, was Tom Hood, the Editor of _Fun_, and son of the author of the original “I Remember.” I remember, I remember, The house――’twas Clunn’s Hotel, The friends who knocked me up at eight, I recollect as well; They never came a wink too soon, Nor brought too long a day, For liquor flowed from when they came Till when they went away. I remember, remember, The “brandies”――large and small―― The Chablis and the _Veuve Clicquot_, The sodas split by all; The caraffe at my bedside set, With cognac well filled up―― And what a time it took to mix The primal champagne cup. (_Here five verses are omitted_).