_Furnivallos._ A year or two ago, and I Had hardly read a line of Shakespeare’s works―― Or so-call’d works. For why? Have I not found them, in such transient time, A nest of fledgings, and of mixèd rhyme Without much reason――Heav’n save the mark!―― Cribb’d from Boccaccio’s self, or Chaucer’s pages dark? In later days, the hands, Or rather quills, of Jonson, Beaumont too, Have serv’d to make a hash of what this William Shakespeare drew! And I alone of all the wits can show it; For am I not the Critic of our Poet? A thought occurs――it is not always so Since my poor brains are like my means, too low; And when I want them sharp, alas! they’re slow! I’ll found a fresh Society, call’d “New,” And try if I can’t, by much reading hard, Impart “new readings” to th’ “Immortal Bard,” Shifting the false lights from the dazzling true―― Though I for one, find _them_ but very few!―― And thus prove Shakespeare’s after all a myth, And muff!――akin to Jones, or Brown, or Smith.” _Furnivallos_ having with the aid of _Tupperius_ founded the Society, a meeting is held, at which _Furnivallos_ takes the chair, and makes a speech, in which he asserts―― “Nothing that Shakespeare wrote, came from his head, Which was a Warehouse stored with stolen goods,―― And thus he warbled of the hills and woods In Cuckoo notes. * * * * * So now to work, and bring before your Eyes, The fact that Shakespeare’s Plays are only Lies!” _Dixonus (jumping up indignantly, thus speaks)_―― This “bosh” your Chairman talks of Shakespeare’s Plays is But hideous Nonsense, and my Anger raises; For though to some extent he may be right, His Tests are wrong, and here I take a sight At his Foot-rule, his Measures, Pauses, Endings. Since Shakespeare, in despite such Tinker’s mendings, Must e’er remain――whatever Dolts may say―― “The Wonder of all Time.” And now, good-day Furnivallos, and your slavish, fawning Crew, With whom again I’ll nothing have to do; Though, ere I go, or quit this “New Society,” Let me advise all, and with strict sobriety, To change its Name, and so coin heaps of guineas, And call it Shakespeare’s “Newest Nest of Ninnies!” (_Great confusion as DIXONUS quits the room._) TABLEAU. ――――:o:―――― When Mr. Wilson Barrett announced that he was about to produce “Hamlet” at the Princess’s Theatre, someone wrote the following, not very profound, criticisms upon the tragedy:―― HAMLET FROM A NEW POINT OF VIEW.