_Truth_, May 22, 1884. (Referring to Miss Kate Vaughan’s performance of the part of Lalla Rookh, in Mr. Horace Lennard’s burlesque extravaganza of Moore’s poem). ―――――――― Picked up at the stage entrance to the Novelty Theatre:―― I know a masher dark to see, J. D., J. D. He mashes most bewitchingly, J. D., J. D. His varnished feet, his collars neat, His buttonhole (gardenia sweet), Must make her heart more quickly beat, J. D., J. D. When you are seeing _Lalla Rookh_, J. D., J. D. Pray keep your eyes upon the book, J. D., J. D. For Kate’s fair face and lower lace Have made you change your mind apace; Ah, yours must be a dreadful case! J. D., J. D. _The Topical Times_, May 24, 1884. [Illustration] SUGGESTED BY “THE VILLAGE BLACKSMITH.” (_With Apologies to the Shade of Longfellow._) Under Britannia’s spreading oak The Grand Old Woodman stands; A presentation axe he wields With large and sinewy hands; But the onslaught of his cruel arms As yet the tree withstands. His hair is white and dank and long His collars none can span; His brow is wet with honest sweat―― He chops down all he can; He won’t look Duty in the face, But he’ll talk with any man. Week in, week out, from morn till night, You can hear his speeches flow; You can hear him wag his ceaseless tongue, Dreary and loud and slow, As the sexton’s song on the village bell, When the evening sun is low. The children of his Rebel School Crowd round his open door; They love to watch his swelling gorge, And hear his blatant roar, And catch the myriad words that fly Like chaff from a threshing floor. He goes on Sunday to the church, And sits among his boys; He hears the parson pray and preach―― He hears his own loved voice, Reading the daily lessons, And it makes his heart rejoice. It sounds to him like an angel’s voice Singing in Paradise! Which reminds him he will talk no more When in the grave he lies, And with his collar end he wipes A tear out of his eyes. Talking――orating――promising, Onward through life he goes; Each morning sees some task begun, Long years don’t see it close; Too much attempted, nothing done, How _can_ he seek repose?