Three gourmands invited were into the West, Out of Cornhill by Lord Fitz-Brown; They found they’d be late, and they thought it best From Cheapside to cab it right into Town. “For men will growl and women will weep, If waiting for dinner my Lord we keep!” Near Temple Bar they’re moaning. They were blocked up in Fleet Street for nigh an hour, And the lamps were lit as the sun went down; They swore they’d walk, but there came a show’r: ’Twas long past the hour for Lord Fitz-Brown. For cabs must walk and ’busses must creep, Which causes a block from Fleet to Chepe, While the Temple Bar is moaning. Three “empties” drew up at Fitz-Brown’s house grand, As the Devonshire cream and the tart went down; And the ladies are smiling behind the hand As the “empties” explain to Lord Fitz-Brown. While cabs must crawl and ’busses must creep, All long to say, from Fleet to Chepe, “O, good-bye to the Bar and its moaning!” _Punch_, September 26, 1874. ―――― THE THREE SKATERS. Three ladies went skating at Prince’s one day, And happy indeed were one and all; For their hearts were light, and their dresses were gay, But ’ere night they each had a terrible fall; For women will skate, whate’er be their fate, And its perfectly useless objections to state, So heigh ho! for the rink and the skating. Three husbands sat waiting for dinner that night, And weary and hungry they were each one, And the cook and the butler were both in a fright, For they knew the fish would be overdone: But men must wait, while women do skate, And its just as well to put up with your fate, So heigh ho! for the rink and the skating. Three sufferers that night were brought home in alarm, Bemoaning their fate with many a sigh; One had broken her leg, another her arm, And the third alas! had fractured her thigh: For woman will skate, whate’er be their fate, Though to mend we know it’s never too late, So good-bye to the rink and the skating. From _Idyls of the Rink_. Judd and Co, London, 1876. ―――― SONG ON CYPRUS, BY MR. GLADSTONE. Three regiments went sailing away to the East―― Away to the East, to our Island new; And the nearer they came their spirits increased, For they were Englishmen brave and true: For whilst we’ve an army our troops must fight; And islands bought must be held by might, In spite of the press’s groaning.